Parody of the Games: Sonic Zeroes
by LilyRosetheDreamer
Summary: The epic, heart-pounding adventure of the heroes...as you've never seen them before!
1. Team Sonic

**Team Sonic.**

Sonic, the amazingly fast blue hedgehog, bounced off rocks and did cartwheels and flips, ripping off Evel Kinievel at the same time. He landed on the ground, still running and defying every law of Physics. He was still running like a crazy hedgie on coffee as Tails and Knuckles came overhead in the Cyclone (or Tornado, never knowing which one's which), breaking a Health and Safety law by not having seatbelts.

"Uh, Tails, shouldn't you have seatbelts on this thing? Sega might make us look invincible, but we're not actually."

"Hey yeah, you're right!" Tails replied to Knuckles, twisting round in his seat to look at the camera which he wasn't supposed to know was there. SEGA decided to kill him off because he knew too much, but immediately forgot about it.

"Remember kids, always wear a seatbelt! Otherwise there'll be messy consequences!"

He looked down.

"Hey look, it's Sonic!"

Tails, what the hell just happened to your voice?"

"It's called puberty, Knuckles! Look it up ok?!" Tails said, glaring at him.

Knuckles rolled his eyes as they soared down to the speeding figure.

Sonic was singing tunelessly and kicking clouds of dust into Knuckles' eyes.

"OW! What the hell Sonic!"

"Oops. Sorry." The great, tone-deaf hero replied, shrugging.

"Yo Tails, Knuckles, long time, no see."

"Sonic! Eggman sent this!"

"Good God, Tails! What the hell is wrong with your voice?"

"Shut up! All of our voices are crap! They get worse in the next game!"

"And what game would that be, my orange friend?"

"Uh…Shadow the Hedgehog." Tails stuttered nervously.

"WHAT?! HE gets his own GAME?! What for?!" Sonic shrieked, looking like he was going to have a heart attack, probably from all the chilli dogs.

"He loses his memory when he falls to Earth, duh."

"Really?" Sonic chuckled as an evil plan began to form in his mind.

"We're in a game? Does this mean our lives are obsolete?! Forced to play the same days over and over again?! NOOOO!!" Knuckles screamed and jumped out of the plane, trying to kill himself.

Far away, an emo heard the suicide attempt and shook his head. "Didn't do it properly." He muttered sadly.

"Okaay… Anyway, read the letter Eggman sent you."

Tails broke the two second silence and threw the letter off the plane.

Sonic swore (shocking many parents) and caught it. " Dammit Tails, you've got to stop chucking letters at people! Someone's gonna get a nasty paper cut one day!"

Tails just giggled like a lunatic.

"Right…" Sonic muttered and started to read. His eyes popped in horror at the image of the evil Dr Fatman-sorry mean Eggman.

"They have letters with moving images?! SPAWN OF MEPHILES!" Sonic screamed, totally ignoring what the doctor was trying to spell out for him i.e. ultimate doom for the entire world (which would normally be Armaggedon, but Eggman's a wuss, so we'll never see that happen). Luckily for the entire world, Tails heard what he said.

"OMG! Eggman's trying to take over the world!" He cried in terror.

"Why are you so scared? He tries this every week. The only times he doesn't is Christmas, his birthday and the days he goes to visit his mother, who's about 650 years old." Knuckles said, reappearing out of nowhere, acting like nothing had happened, and subsequently making Tails pee himself.

"Enough! We must stop this madman!" Sonic yelled as the American flag appeared behind him. "Let's crack this egg open and get this party started!"

The Corny Jokes Club clapped heartily.

"Is he gonna be like this the whole time?" Knuckles whispered to Tails as they leapt of the still moving plane and let it destroy the whole desert.

"Who knows?" Tails replied. "Let's go fast, even though we can't in real life."

"Agreed." Knuckles said and they bombed after the blue nutcase.

Phew! Another story up! Hope this makes you all laugh! Here's some questions to make you wonder.

1. Will they save the world from Eggman?

2. What plans does Sonic have in store for poor anmesiac Shadow?

the environmental people sue Tails and Knuckles?

will Sonic stop being corny?

Find out next time!


	2. Team Rose

**Team Rose**

Amy Rose, the crazy psychopath, who would destroy anyone who she thought was flirting with Sonic, was sitting on the end of the deck, reading a newspaper with a weird picture of an obviously fake Sonic kidnapping Chocola and Froggy. Why anyone would do that, Chaos only knows. Suddenly, the magical forces called wind took the photo away from her and it flapped away from her.

"Oh no!" Amy shrieked in her annoying high-pitched voice and Big winced in horror. Cream, who was slightly naïve, caught it for Amy, thus sealing the fate of the next few sentences (which would have Amy twittering about her beloved).

"Amy, you must be careful with our only clue!" She cried, Cheese doing a strange dance behind her in an attempt to upstage the rabbit. The wind blew again, but stronger this time and Creams ears were caught in the gust.

"AAAAAH!" She squealed as she was blown away. But Big saved the day. He had been doing mathematical equations on the end of the deck for a bit of fun and had seen Cream's predicament.

"Are you ok, Cream?" He asked.

"Thank you Big!" Cream replied happily.

Amy shoved the picture into their faces, giving them both paper cuts.

"My eyes!" Cream yelled.

"Don't you guys want to get Chocola and Froggy back?" Amy rambled, totally ignoring their pain.

"Yes I do want to find my aquatic- dwelling friend!" Big muttered, using big words to confuse everyone around him.

"Then let's go find them. We won't stop until we find Chocola and Froggy. Oh, and Sonic too." Amy simpered.

"We won't stop? Not even for coffee?" asked Cream.

"NO!" Amy shrieked, looking like a demented demon.

"O…Okay." Cream whispered, seriously freaked and they all ran like retards to the next level.

"By the way, I'm NOT a retard." Big addressed the camera (SEGA hired Fang to kill him but Fang got run over by a lorry, so SEGA forgot about it, again). "I've passed two degrees in Philosophy and Math."

A hammer looped over his neck and dragged him off, Big screaming the entire way.


	3. Team Chaotix

**Team Chaotix**

Vector sat in his chair listening to music while a purple chameleon stood in the corner, meditating and going "Oooonnnnggg…"

Suddenly, a hyperactive and caffeine-influenced bee came streaking in through the door.

"CHARMY! Put some clothes on, for hell's sake!" Vector screamed, covering his eyes.

"Oops. Sorry." Charmy put on his clothes and threw a walkie-talkie radio at Vector's head.

"AAAAAGGGHHH!!!" Vector yelled, covering his face in fear.

A ninja star flew across the room and trapped the radio in the wall.

"WOW! It's like a ninja movie!" shrieked the little annoying bug.

"I didn't hurt someone this time!" Espio yelled in shock and danced on the table in celebration.

Suddenly…a voice came out of nowhere.

"I have a job for you." It said.

"AAAAGGHHH! SOMEONE CALL AN EXORCIST!" screamed the paranoid crocodile known as Vector.

Two hours later, after paying a fuming exorcist, they had finally located the source of the voice.

"We'll do it!" cried an excited Vector, huge dollar signs appearing in Charmy and Vector's eyes.

"You do realise that our "mysterious" client won't pay us and we find out it's just a random tramp?" Espio said, getting down off the table, having been doing the Russian dance the entire time.

"How DARE you call the great Dr Egg-I mean Mysterious Client a tramp!" crackled the radio.

"Yeah Espio, shut up!" Charmy blew a raspberry.

"Let's get on with this pointless adventure which noone cares about, not even the gamers!" Vector yelled and raced out of the door on a mini scooter.

"And so began our confusing and pointless adventure…" Espio rambled to the camera, while SEGA banged their heads on the desks and cried.

"You sound like a retarded bad cop. Now let-s-a go!" Charmy shouted, ripping of Mario.

And, so, the third team of morons ran into an extremely idiotic adventure, not really caring where they ended up.


	4. Team Dark

**Team Dark.**

The theme of Mission Impossible played in the background as Rouge, the apparently sexy bat, made her way to the room where she'd heard treasure had been stored (AAARRGGH, ME HEARTIES!). It was slightly obvious that they weren't going to be lying in a random room, ready for people to steal, but Rouge was slightly dim so she didn't figure it out. Landing neatly on her feet after flying a couple of miles (singing her own version of "I would fly 500 miles"), she pressed herself up against the wall, even though the hall was empty, and probably had been since early that morning.

"Ok. Time to get me some jewels!" she muttered and going to the door, she pressed a series of buttons, hoping that the door would open.

"If not I'll just have to blow it-Oh! Here we go!" she squealed in excitement as the door opened the first time round. "That's never happened before!"

Entering the room, she noticed a capsule.

"Hmmm…even though it's obvious that there's a person in there, I'm just going to assume that there's treasure in there and open it."

Typing in the word "peanuts", she watched in amazement as the capsule opened up for her.

"Wow! This is my lucky day! Stuff keeps opening for me!"

Suddenly, she gasped and moved back a step, as there before her, was Shadow the Hedgehog!

"He's alive!" Rouge thought.

Shadow opened his eyes. But, unbeknown to them, a crazy robot going by the name of Omega, had been awoken as well and decided that the two Mobians were Eggman's robots, despite the fact that they clearly weren't.

He opened fire and Shadow knocked Rouge out of the way.

"Stay here." He told her and flew towards Omega, sticking to walls with sticky tape he had found on the floor. He was just about to punch through Omega's head and end his existence, which would have been brilliant for the world, when Rouge got in between them, risking her life.

"Cut it out!" Rouge yelled, somehow holding them both apart. They stopped, facing one another, and Rouge looked at the camera, sighing with relief and sticking out her chest.

SEGA fainted with terror, but not before calling an assassin called Sally Acorn to wipe her out. Sally fell off a cliff, so Rouge was safe. SEGA forgot all about it.

Rouge sat on some rubble.

"So you're mad at Eggman for sealing you in this room."

"Eggman lock me in room. Eggman will pay. Omega hungry."

"Annd…you have language problems. And you." she turned to Shadow. You can't remember anything can you? It is clearly obvious that you got amnesia from falling through the Earth's atmosphere but we're not going to think that and go on a quest to get your memory back and get revenge on Eggman."

Shadow looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Who is this crazy girl…?" he wondered.

"Well, then it's settled! We'll team up!" She grabbed both of their hands and put them on top of hers. Shadow struggled like mad because he was being touched by two lunatics.

"Yeah baby, this makes us a team!" Rouge cried in excitement.

You could see the horror on poor Shadow's face.

Far away, Sonic cackled. "Yes! Let my funny and evil plan on Shadow commence!"

Shadow whimpered as he was dragged off to Wave Ocean.

Another chapter! Shadow's in for a world of pain. Lol. I don't hate Shads though. He's my baby!

cuddles him Anyway, QUESTIONS!

Will Rouge get jewels?

What WILL Sonic do to Shadow?

What will Omega have to eat?

And will they all complete their quests? Find out next time! Ciao for now!


	5. Wave Ocean

**Wave Ocean**

Sonic stood on the sunny shores, feeling the breeze in his quills….then a metal bar smacked him in the face. "Owwwwww!!"

"Destroy!" The robot swung at him again.

"Sonic, what the hell were you doing standing there when you knew damn well we were fighting Eggman's robots?"

"Shut up Knuckles! I didn't know they were there! But they will get their asses kicked for defying the power of teamwork!" Sonic yelled, doing some break dancing moves.

The Corny Jokes Club cheered for their leader.

The robots blew up just to escape the corniness.

"Awesome! We have a new weapon!" Tails cheered and dragged Sonic away, the crazy blue hedgehog still muttering corny catchphrases.

"What the hell am I doing here?" Knuckles whimpered and dragged himself after them (Scientists STILL don't know how he managed it).

Rouge grinned at her fellow team mates.

"So you both ready?"

"I will destroy anything that stands in our way. Omega still hungry." Omega said in a monotone voice.

Shadow stared at them both in confusion. "What am I doing here?" he wondered, feeling sick.

Sighing, he looked at them both out of the corner of his eye and made some fan girls in Canada faint with excitement. "Hope you can keep up with me." he said in his smooth voice and dashed away, praying to whoever was up there that they wouldn't be able to.

"Come on Omega! Let's go!" Rouge cried and flew like a rocket after Shadow.

Omega tried, but short-circuited over the sea and fell in. He had to be rescued by Rouge.

Shadow slapped himself in the face in annoyance.

Suddenly, robots jumped out at them from all sides. Shadow hid behind a rock because he had no idea what they were. Rouge and Omega proceeded to scream wildly and smash them into pieces, Omega screaming "KIIILLL!"

Shadow ran off, terrified of these homicidal lunatics. "Please…someone help me." he whispered.

"I know he's here somewhere! My Sonic radar is telling me so!" Amy squealed, clinging onto Cream's feet.

"That's physically impossible. You can't have a radar in your head…unless someone implanted it in you." Big answered, getting a filthy glare off the rose hedgehog.

"Miss Amy, I have to go down! I can't hold you two for much longer!" Cream wailed, sinking downwards to the ground.

"ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT?!" Amy shrieked, going purple.

"No!" Cream cried. "I would never say that about anyone!"

"Remember children, never say anything that might cause someone to smack you in the face." Big said, looking at the camera.

SEGA pounded its fists on the tables in despair.

Robots came charging towards them.

"CHAARRGGE!" Amy hollered, racing forward with her Piko Piko hammer.

Big relaxed on a recliner, knowing full well that he wouldn't need to lift a finger.

Cream helped Amy, but had barely smashed one robot, before stopping.

Amy had murdered them all.

In a hideout somewhere in Mexico, Metal Knuckles slammed his fist through the table. "This is ridiculous! Robots everywhere are being abused because of these monsters. Even little children aren't frightened of us any more and have taken to beating us around the heads with sticks!"

"We have to do something! Won't someone please think of the robotic children!" Metal Amy cried.

"No worries. I'll have something planned in a week or so." Tails Doll replied and trundled away to think of the ultimate plan (most likely to involve burgers and a hat).

Back to Team Rose now. Amy sped away, screaming; "I shall find Sonic!"

Cream raced after her, yelling; "Can we stop for doughnuts?"

Big just wept at the fact he had to stay with these two.

Vector laughed as he banged a robot on the head. "This completely pointless adventure is fun!"

Charmy came over carrying ice cream. "Got the ice creams you wanted."

"Awesome!" Vector replied.

"This is stupid. We're supposed to be finding chao, not going on holiday!" Espio raged, smashing another robot.

"Fear the mighty Eg-I mean, Mysterious Client!" crackled the radio. "Find the chao or I'll blow your heads off!"

"See?" Espio shot at the two numptys with a laser gun.

"Fine! We're going!" Charmy shouted and jumped off a cliff, ready to fly to the other side. Unfortunately, he forgot Vector and Espio.

"Hey!" Espio waved his shuriken stars around, almost taking Vector's head off.

"Sorry!" Charmy came back.

"Ready?"

"Yep!"

They all jumped off at the same time, yelling "Geronimooo!"

The robots danced around, trying to fly as well by flapping their arms. It didn't work.

So, there you have it! I will comment on my other story as well. I keep forgetting. Sorry guys!

Questions!

Will they get out of Wave Ocean alive?

Will Shadow be spared from the madness?

What DOES Sonic have planned for the poor guy?

Will those environmentalists sue Tails and Knuckles?

And will SEGA EVER get it right?

Find out all this and more next time!


	6. Grand Metropolis

**Grand Metropolis.**

Sonic was still happily chatting to the President of the United States an hour later as they got to Grand Metropolis.

"There're robots crawling everywhere!" Knuckles shouted, shaking his fist at them.

"Yeah, well, Eggman is always sending them after us isn't he?" Tails nodded at a wanted poster stuck to the wall. It went as follows:

WANTED!

HIGHLY DANGEROUS CRIMINAL SILVER THE HEDGEHOG-

"Hold on a moment! This isn't Eggman! It's some guy named Silver who shows up in a later game when we look cooler and more defined, and he has a weird hairdo!"

"Knuckles! Concentrate on what we're supposed to be doing here!" Tails glared at him.

"Which is what exactly?"

"...I forget."

"Yeah, toodle pip, Presi-o!" Sonic hung up his mobile, where it dangled lifelessly in mid-air.

"Let's go my bestest buddies in the whole wide world!"

"...I don't know what to say!" Tails was getting emotional so Knuckles punched him in the face.

"Why did you do that?"

"He annoys me."

"Oh."

And with that, they went to the coffee house, leaving Tails lying in the middle of the pavement.

Amy lurked in the shadows. "You're mine Sonniku!"

"Come on, guys!" Rouge whined.

"Omega very hungry." Omega stated bluntly.

"Shut...up." Shadow whispered, ready to throw the robot into the scrapheap.

"Hey look, there's someone there!" Rouge cried, pointing at the Chaotix crew.

Shadow suddenly had a JD moment where he went off into a fantasy about pushing Rouge and Omega off the tallest tower and looking for his past all by himself.

As he was in this fantasy, Espio was glaring at the Team Dark. "Let me at them, please! I swear I won't hurt anybody except them!" he yelled, struggling against Vector, who was going all gangster on him.

"No, my brother! WE are all going to town on their asses together dawg."

Shadow snapped out of his fantasy.

"Yo, my brother from another mother! You speak my word!" he shrieked in joy.

"No he doesn't Shadow. Now shut up, fool." Said Mr T and he was promptly crushed by a falling amp.

"Shadow?" Rouge waved a hand in front of his face.

"Huh?" Shadow snapped out of his fantasy within a fantasy and stared blankly at her.

"We beat that weird Team Chaotix already." She motioned with a hand to where they were lying in a heap on the floor. "I see YOU didn't do anything to help." Rouge went on, glaring at him.

"Um...you were both amazing already so..." Shadow trailed off.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Rouge cooed, patting his cheek. "Let's go Team Awesome!"

"I thought it was Dark?"

"It's my nickname for it silly." Rouge grinned at Shadow.

"Oh, ok."

And with that, they smashed through some robots and went off.

Team Sonic stood silently, quivering in fear at the sight of Team Rose.

Well, Tails was quivering at the sight of Amy.

"Stop being so scared." Sonic said crossly. "It's only Amy."

"She stalks people...and has a hammer!" Tails replied in a hoarse whisper.

"We have no choice but to fight them!" Knuckles growled, punching the air.

"We've gotta make him see that anger management counsellor." Tails whispered to Sonic.

"Come on guys!" Amy yelled, brandishing her hammer. "If he won't marry me willingly, then I'll do it by force!"

Big had a vision of Sonic wearing a tux and being dragged kicking and screaming down the aisle by Amy, who was clad in a wedding dress.

"Dear me..."

"I'll try to help Amy!" Cream said determinedly.

Five minutes later, Team Sonic had leapt off the building in terror, for Amy, Cream and Big had drawn out musical instruments and had started singing Take a Chance on Me.

"Well, that's that." Big said.

"I'll have you yet Sonniku!" Amy shrieked and proceeded to take her anger out on Big.

"Someone help meee!!" His screams carried across the city.

Well that the next chapter! Question time and please REVIEW! 

Will Big survive this onslaught?

What awaits our heroes?

How will SEGA learn to stop the characters from looking at the cameras?

And is Shadow off the hook from Sonic?

Find out next time!


	7. Rail Canyon

**Rail Canyon.**

Don't remember all of the stages so I'm just putting a few. It would take forever with all of them anyways. Enjoy!

Tails wobbled about on the rails constantly, whilst screaming in that awful high-pitched voice of his.

"AAAAAGGGHHH!!! I'M GONNA DIE!"

"You can fly." Knuckles replied calmly, grinding on one hand, his left eyelid twitching at Tails' stupidity.

"Oh yeah." Tails grinned sheepishly at his mistake.

"Look!" Sonic pointed up ahead, towards a huge castle.

"Camelot!" Knuckles cried.

"Camelot!" Sonic said in shock.

"Camelot!" cried a random alien.

"Why is there a castle in the Rail Canyon level?" Tails asked.

"Good question." Said the alien. Knuckles screamed and pushed him off.

"Why'd you do THAT?!" Tails yelled.

"My mother said aliens give you illnesses." Knuckles sniffed.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, anyhoo, Eggman is here and I won't rest until he is put in jail where he belongs!" Sonic shouted, pointing a finger at the sky.

"Oh AGAIN with the drama." Knuckles rolled his eyes as they landed on a platform and attacked some innocent robots playing Go Fish.

Vector looked at the sky in confusion.

"Did any of you see an alien falling out of the sky just a minute ago?" he asked.

"Nope. Have you been at the cola again?" Charmy asked.

"Maybe."

Espio put up a hand. "Quiet!"

"Why?"

"Something's coming!"

They were silent for about a millisecond.

"Oh never mind. It was probably my imagination, even though it is likely that something will come around that corner when we let our guards down."

As soon as he said that, a load of robots charged at them.

"Great. You HAD to jinx us, didn't ya?" Vector growled.

Espio just glared at him and then they smashed up the robots.

In the Robot Base in Mexico, they all held a ten hour silence for the many robots that had been massacred. It was so long because there were a lot being murdered.

Team Rose meanwhile, was relaxing on sunloungers. They really should have done that in Wave Ocean but never mind.

Amy was scream-singing to Britney Spears.

"Turn her off!" Cried Big in terror.

"My delicate ears are falling off!" Creams whimpered.

"SHUT UP!" Amy squealed, getting out a hammer.

"What beautiful singing!" Big cried, placing one yellow-gloved hand on his heart.

"My ears are full of it!" Cream simpered.

"That's better." Amt said, putting away her hammer.

Cheese mimed being lovestruck and Amy blushed.

"Oh stop it!" she said, waving a hand at him. It accidently hit him in the face.

"Oh poor Cheese!" Cream squeaked, hugging the crying Chao.

"He'll get over it." Amy replied.

Cream was about to dump fish all over Amy, when Simon Cowell appeared from a rock.

"Your singing was fabulous darling!" he yelled.

"Is he crazy?!" Big muttered in horror.

"I'd like to give you a record deal worth $!"

"Oh my god!" Amy shrieked. "Yes please!"

Somewhere in Hollywood, a singer died.

Omega chomped his way through some petrol cans.

"Yum." Was all he said.

"Glad you like it." Rouge said. "Now then, let's see...where are we Shadow? You got the map?"

"What map?"

"You don't HAVE it?!"

"We never had one in the first place!"

"Oh."

Shadow felt like killing himself. So he strolled casually to the side of the cliff and dropped off it.

"HERE I COME MARIA!!!!" he shouted into the skies, even though he wasn't supposed to remember her and thus ruining the whole point of his story.

"NOOOO!" Rouge grabbed him and pulled him back to the madness.

"WHHHYYY?!!!" Shadow screamed and began to cry like a two year old.

"Anyway..." Rouge stopped when she saw the fake Eggman coming towards them.

"There he is! KILL HIM!" Omega yelled and he and Rouge ran after the robotic Eggman, blowing him and his ship up.

Shadow whimpered over a picture of the Space Colony Ark.

Suddenly he was interrupted by Rouge shoving an obviously fake version of himself into his face. It was also completely obvious that Shadow wasn't a robot, but as soon as he saw the fake version, he screeched in horror and tried to bash his own head open with a rock to see if he was flesh and blood. He got his answer when he fainted from the loss of blood and had to be restored to full health by Omega, who kept shouting "CLEAR!" as he worked.

Rouge sighed. It was going to be a looong journey.

End of story. Here is a new addition I thought of now when I read Sonic Z. But instead of songs, the characters are going to be in their own Scrubs style fantasies!

**Tails.**

Tails had just finished watching Indiana Jones on his computer. He sat back in his chair.

"Hmmm...just imagine if I was Indy..."

(Cue Fantasy.)

"Indiana Tails! Wake up!"

Tails sprang up, brandishing his whip. "What?!"

"Dame Cosmo has been kidnapped by some weird guy who wants your gold statue thing!" Knuckles cried, wringing his hands together and sporting a turban.

Tails dramatically put on his cowboy adventurer hat and leapt into a jeep.

"Let's go, whimpy sidekick."

"It's Max."

(The Indiana Jones theme starts)

Tails trekked through the undergrowth, kicking aside spiders.

"There she is!" he yelled!

"Max, that's an ordinary tree."

"Well, SORRY for confusing your plant girlfriend with ANOTHER plant!" Knuckles rolled his eyes.

Tails leapt across a tiny gap over a stream. Knuckles slipped and fell in.

"Here's the temple. Let's go."

Suddenly, they saw Cosmo, who was the fairest maiden Indy Tails had ever seen.

"Hands off the girl!"

"It's him boss!" cried a robotic grunt.

"Then get him!" laughed Eggy Bottom, evilest man in South America.

The grunts tried their best, they really did. But they were no match for Indy Tails and his whip.

Knuckles just hid.

"Oh my hero!" Cosmo cried, swooning into his arms.

"No problem." Tails peaked his hat and gazed dramatically into the sunset with his new maiden by his side.

(End Fantasy)

"On second thoughts....Nah." Tails said and went to bed.


	8. Frog Forest

**Frog Forest.**

Okay, the paragraphing thing on this site has REALLY been annoying me lately. Every time I try to edit my stories so that the grammar and structure looks nice and professional, it reverts back to the crappier version! If ANYONE can help me, it would be appreciated. Read and enjoy.

*Please note that some of which you are about to read was inspired from the amazing Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series.

Sonic managed to grip onto a vine and swung around on to a platform

"I feel like Tarzan! Weeee!"

He then did the Tarzan call.

"Shut UP Sonic! Do you WANT the King of Gorillas to attack us?!" yelled Knuckles, grabbing Sonic's arm and shaking him.

"King Kong's not real Knuckles."

"I...TOTALLY knew that!"

"Sure."

"Okay, stop arguing guys! We have to work together to best Eggman! Otherwise the world is doomed. DOOMED I SAY!"

The Corny Jokes Club gasped with horror.

"Sonic, don't be stupid. Eggman would never REALLY destroy the world. He's such a coward that he actually hired me once to get a spider out of his bathtub. It was embarrassing to watch him cower and scream." Knuckles replied, rolling his eyes at the drama queen known as Sonic.

"So...not even a LITTLE bit of doom?"

"No."

"Goddammit!"

"He's this way, I'm sure of it!"

"Amy, you said that five minutes ago and we STILL haven't found him."

"Shut up Big!"

The team known as Team Rose were trekking through the undergrowth, pushing branches and vines out of their way. And seeing as though they didn't know where they were, Cream had helpfully suggested using Amy's Sonic radar to get them on the right track.

It was a big mistake in Big's opinion.

"In another few hours, the sun will set."

"What the hell does that mean?!" Big stared, nonplussed.

"I don't know!" Cream replied.

"You're so weird. What the hell does your mother give you for dinner?!"

"Food." Cream replied blankly.

Amy smacked them both upside the head. After glaring at them for a few seconds, she drew out her hammer from wherever the hell she keeps it and shouted "Piko Crush!" (Lol. MIND CRUSH!)

The whole forest was blown away as Amy spun around with her hammer and Cream and Big cowered behind a boulder.

After the wind and leaves had died down, they realised they were staring at a clearing.

"Hey, maybe he's through here!"

"Sure Amy." Big rolled his eyes.

The way Amy snarled at him suggested that it would be the last thing he ever did.

(WARNING! Before you go on reading this, this chapter contains large amounts of Shadow the Hedgehog. Fangirls with asthma are advised not to read this directly otherwise they could be taken over by fangirl powers. And now enjoy your stupid parody story.)

Rouge happily flew over increasingly dangerous platforms with Shadow and Omega clinging on for dear life.

"I hate my life!" Shadow squealed, kicking out wildly with his legs.

"STOP OR MY METAL EXTERIOR WILL BE DAMAGED BY BEING DROPPED FROM A GREAT HEIGHT, 1000 FEET TO BE EXACT."

"I don't care! I never wanted to be with you both anyway!"

Rouge landed on safe ground and Shadow knelt down, happily hugging the mossy floor.

"I love you gravity..."

Rouge kicked him from behind and cried "REJECTED!"

"OWWW! What was that for?!" Shadow rubbed his back, pouting.

"Because you are a wimp that's why."

Rouge suddenly spotted something up ahead.

"Let's run randomly towards that giant frog over there! It could kill us but you never know unless you find out!"

"What?!"

Rouge dragged Shadow and Omega after her as they raced over to the enormous frog.

"HEY THERE MR FROG!" Omega screeched abruptly in a grating voice, causing Shadow to clap his hands over his velvety ears.

"Uh, Omega, what do you think happened to the frog?"

For indeed, it was lying on its back. It also wasn't moving.

"He's probably just tired." Rouge replied, answering Shadow's question.

"He looks kind of dead."

"...Let's go."

So they ran merrily off, leaving the poor frog lying on the grass.

"Wowowewo, this place is huuuge!" Charmy buzzed up and down a palm tree.

"Stop ripping off Borat and come down here! We need to consult our map!"

"What map?"

"YOU LOST THE MAP?!"

"Nope. We don't have one. But we DO have this SatNav."

"Even better Espio! Well done!"

The radio crackled into life once more and the Team Chaotix looked eagerly at it for their next mission.

"Hello. This a national broadcast from the Queen of England..."

"Oops. Wrong channel." Vector flicked a switch. "Who wants to listen to something like that anyway?"

In England...

"And so, I propose that the government should become even lazier and that toast should be made into a national holiday. Thank you for watching and listening." The Queen got down from her podium and waved at the crowd. The crowd cheered.

But in all the houses across Britain, people were nearly dead from boredom.

Back with the dream team...

"And so, I want you to find lots of frogs for your next mission." The radio went silent.

There was a pause.

"We waited eagerly for THIS crappy mission?!" Vector shouted, getting very annoyed.

"Hush, Vector, remember your blood pressure!" Espio said matter-of-factly.

"Well, what are we waiting for guys?! Let us go!"

"No! Screw the money, I have had enough!" Vector started to storm off.

"Wait Vector! Don't leave!"

"Why not Espio?"

"I think I'm going to have a baby. And you're the father."

Charmy did a double-take at the wacky chameleon. "Eh?!"

As for Vector, he passed out from terror.

"Not really. I had to say something shocking and heart-racingly good otherwise he'd have left and this game would be worthless." Espio explained to Charmy, whose eyes bugged at the wise words of the chameleon.

"Nice. Now...will he wake up or are we gonna have to carry the great lump."

"We'll wait." Espio grinned cheekily.

"Hold the phone! I've just realised something!"

Espio looked bemused. "What's that then?"

"We haven't bashed a single robot in the whole chapter!"

Espio gasped in horror as did the other teams, who had somehow heard, and the players all over the world.

"What are we supposed to do?!" Espio shrieked. "We've lost the whole point of this game! We're doomed if something isn't done!"

Suddenly a single red robot sprang out from behind a thick bush.

"I will make that worthy sacrifice!" it yelled and pointed at Espio. "Kill me."

"WITH PLEASURE!" hollered the crazy ninja and lopped off its head with his shuriken star.

"Hooray, the game is saved!" cheered SEGA.

Nintendo saw all of this and cried.

Now for the daydream channel. Thanks for reading this next chapter and please review nicely. The characters do not belong to me. They belong to SEGA and this story is sponsored by Frosted Shreddies. Thanks.

Espio's daydream.

Espio had just finished watching an episode of Naruto on YouTube and was feeling all hyped up for a ninja battle.

"Just think if I had Naruto and his friends on my side...especially that hot Sakura."

(Cue fantasy)

Espio opened his eyes and looked around. "Where in the name of ninjas am I?"

"Espio, my love, are you hurt?!" Sakura bent over him, concern on her pretty face.

"I'm in Naruto!" thought Espio with increasing excitement.

"Espio, a giant chicken thing is attacking the village!" Sasuke ran over, panting and resting his hands on his knees, Naruto by his side.

"Then let us defeat it with the way of the ninja!" Espio stood up dramatically and brandished his shuriken star, almost taking Sakura's face off.

"Sorry my dearest, but I have to get ready for our wedding, so I won't be able to come with you this time!" Sakura said sadly and trailed back to her house to have her dress fitted.

"I get to marry Sakura! In your face Sasuke!" yelled Espio, smugness all over his face.

"...Whatever. I just want to kill my brother, who I don't even know about yet." Answered the black-haired emo boy.

"Right...let's kick ass!" Naruto raced towards the huge chicken, bellowing out ninja songs.

"Right behind you!" Espio cried, throwing a star at the chicken. It took its head off.

THE CHICKEN IS DEFEATED!

"Whoa...he really IS the most powerful ninja ever! That would have taken us several battle tactics and loads of over the top anime reactions to defeat that thing! Good going Espio!" Naruto cheered.

Sasuke shook his hand. "Well done."

The village's okage came over and bowed in front of Espio. "And now for your wedding."

One wedding preparation later...

"Do you, Espio the Chameleon, take Sakura to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Sakura Whateveryourlastnameis, take Espio to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do!" Sakura gushed, squeezing Espio's hand.

"Isn't this slightly wrong?" asked Naruto in an undertone to Sasuke, who was ringbearer.

"I don't care about much apart from killing my wacko brother, so this will carry on as planned."

"Oh..."

"You may now-

"Wake up Espio!"

(End Daydream)

"WHAT?!" Espio shot upright, outraged that Charmy had woke him up from this incredible daydream.

"The oven's on fire!"

"Time for Ninjaman!" Espio yelled and ran into the kitchen.

"He sure likes talking about ninjas..." Charmy shook his stripy head and flew into the commotion.

Phew! Question time before I go!

Will Vector come round?

Will Shadow ever find out who he is without losing what's left of his mind first?

Will the environmentalists sue Tails and Knuckles EVER?

And just who is the guy in the radio?

Find out next time!


	9. Lost Jungle

**Lost Jungle.**

Well, I'm back from holiday and here is a new chapter! I STILL haven't had any advice concerning my paragraphs but I'm not giving up just yet! So, anyhoo, chapter...whatever it is. Sonic and co. are owned by SEGA. Unfortunately. I wish they were mine...

Sonic strolled forwards into the dense forest. He surveyed his surroundings for a while before turning to the other two Mobians accompanying him with a grin.

"This place is really cool!"

"We're lost in a jungle and you think that's COOL?!" Knuckles shook his head in annoyance.

"Well, with teamwork and friendship, we'll get out of here and get to Eggman's ship in the sky and kick butt!" Sonic cried, clenching his fists and the Corny Jokes Club cheered for their leader.

"SHUT UP WITH THE CORNINESS!" screamed Tails.

"Have any of you actually wandered why we're going on foot to a ship in the SKY? Couldn't we have saved ourselves some time and flown up there in one of Tails' aircrafts?" Knuckles was standing, staring at the ground. "I mean, it would have saved us a lot of time and grief."

"Because...shut up!" Sonic flushed with embarrassment.

"Moron. He knows." Knuckles muttered.

Suddenly they heard a voice which made Knuckles' brain scream in protest every time he heard it.

"Oh god, not her!"

"Hello boys!" Rouge waved down from a grassy ledge.

"Why does she stalk me like this?!" Knuckles howled.

Tails was shaking in terror. "GGGHHHOOOSSTT!!!!" he shrieked, pointing up at Shadow, who turned round.

"Where?"

"How did you survive?" Sonic asked, flabbergasted.

"So that the plotline could move forward apparently. And also because I have an extremely strong will to live. And a guardian angel. And a super body." Shadow rattled off, beaming at his counterpart.

"I can't tell which one is Sonic and which one is Shadow right now!" cried an extremely stupid and blind fan, which was immediately shot by Sonic.

"Are you all BLIND?!" Shadow cried in frustration. "We don't look anything alike at all! And yet you STILL insist on confusing us!"

"I mean, he's black and red, and I'm BLUE for Pete's sake!" Sonic spluttered at 4Kids, who were still shrugging and saying, "Haven't a clue..."

"I have red eyes. He has green! We wear different shoes!" Shadow growled.

"And our spikes are different shapes! Does that NOT give you a hint?!" Sonic looked ready to strangle someone.

"Hey, it's been quite a while though since the two of you were together." Rouge observed.

Sonic smirked evilly.

**"Yes. And now it's time for my plan to be put into action."** He thought merrily.

He turned around and whistled.

There was silence at first.

Then rumbling started.

"What the hell?" Knuckles whirled round.

Then the worst thing that you could ever possibly see came towards them. Seriously, this phenomenon is so evil and horrible that celebrities have nightmares about it and send security to watch over their children on CCTV at night.

It was called the PAPARAZZI!

"There he is boys!" Sonic called, pointing a gloved finger at the terrified Shadow, who was whispering, "Why me?"

"Mr Shadow, we'd like to ask you a few questions!"

"How did you survive that fall?"

"Is it true that you'll be appearing in your own crappy game?"

"Can you confirm that you and Amy Rose are officially engaged?"

"Do-?"

But this guy didn't get any further, for with a shocked and suicidal scream, Shadow jumped off the little island thing they were on and splashed into the water.

"Wait for us, you noob!" Rouge wailed. "I'm not getting stuck here with this lot!"

"SENSORS HAVE DISCOVERED AN ESCAPE ROUTE. I'M OFF." Omega stated and jumped too, despite the fact that he was made entirely of wires and metal.

"Well, that was easy. And I think we made Shadow lose his mind completely. So a job well done." Sonic said smugly and walked briskly away.

"What a buttmunch." Tails said disapprovingly.

"Let's just go already, before this game gets any weirder." Knuckles groaned and walked off.

************************************************************

"Oh my gosh! Help us!" Amy squealed, as her team stared down the mouth of that enormous crocodile that comes to make your life hell in the actual game because it was bored.

"We're screwed." Big murmured.

"Not yet!" Came a heroic voice.

"Oh no..." Cream said, instantly recognising the voice, which belonged to Espio.

"Epic Espio Ninjaman rescue!" Espio yelled and swooped off his ledge on a vine.

He did a Tarzan call.

"Ah ah aha ahaaaaaaa-ohnowhiplash!"

He fell in as the giant crocodile dived in after him.

"I might as well do this myself." Vector rolled his eyes and dived after them. (Yes he woke up.)

As he swam towards the hapless chameleon, the crocodile spotted him.

And instantly fell in love.

"Oh crap." Vector squeaked as the crocodile made kissing sounds. He grabbed Espio and shot out of the murky depths.

"Now all run away to a safer place so we can duke it out to evolve the storyline!"

Both teams ran for their lives.

When they reached a deserted spot, they turned round to face each other.

"Right, let's get this show on the road!" Charmy buzzed insanely round their heads.

Vector got out a banjo.

"AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!" Team Rose screamed and all jumped into the river.

"That's the best battle we've ever had!" Espio said cheerfully. "I mean, SEGA does make us look like idiots."

"All in all, a good day's work." Vector replied and they walked away.

* * *

Now time for a special DayDream episode.

Vector sat in his chair, reading the daily newspaper. As he read, he thought about how cool it would be to train the rest to be incredibly awesome against evil villains. Then he began to daydream...

(Enter daydream.)

"We've gotta train! Otherwise Eggbutt will defeat us and blow up the world! Or something like that." Sonic paced up and down, making a hole in the ground.

Suddenly Vector strode towards them, wearing an army outfit.

"Yay! Vector will train you! He is so manly." gushed Vanilla and he bowed to her, presenting her with flowers.

"Right then..." Vector turned to the four teams and music began to play...

(Song: I'll Make A Man Out Of You.)

Vector: "Let's get down to business,

To save the world."

Tails: "But I don't think I'm ready!"

Vector: "Shut up, you nerd!"

(Tails sniffled because he was quite sensitive really.)

"You're the saddest runts I've ever met,

But you can bet before we're through,

You'll be a man, like me, when I'm through."

(Knuckles: "This won't be good..."

Vector: "I heard that!")

Vector: "Put your hands outwards!

To use Chaos energy!"

(Shadow tried this and got a semi-good result.)

Shadow: "Hey I think I got it!

Oops, I killed that tree!"

(Tree blew up.)

Vector: "You're a spineless pathetic lot,

And you haven't got a clue.

Somehow, I'lll make a man, out of yooouu!"

Knuckles: " Oh Chaos, he's worse than death!"

Charmy: "Hope Metal Sonic doesn't hurt me!"

Sonic: "I wonder if Eggman's actually gay?"

(E: "Hey!")

Big: "That's it, I'm out of breath!"

Rouge: "I'm gonna run while no one's looking!"

Amy: "I'd take office work over this any day!"

(Amy then turned to Cream and Rouge.

"Don't you think this song is incredibly sexist?"

Rouge looked outraged. "Hell, yeah you're right!"

"Let's kick his ass!" Cream cried and the three girls nodded, ready for later.)

"Be a man!"

Vector: "You must be swift as a coursing river."

"Be a man!"

Vector: "With the force of a great typhoon!"

"Be a man!"

Vector: "With all the strength of a raging fire,

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"

(Out in space somewhere...)

Metal Sonic: "Time is racing onward!

Until we arrive!"

Eggman: "Shut the hell up Metal!

And you MIGHT survive!"

Metal: "How will you beat them, do tell!"

Eggman: "Oh no I'm not, you are!"

Metal: "What why me?!"

Eggman: "Cause I'm too lazzzy!"

"Be a man!"

Vector: "You must be swift as a coursing river!"

"Be a man!"

Vector: "With all the force of a great typhoon!"

"Be a man!"

Vector: "With all the strength of a raging fire!

Mysterious as the dark side of the moooon!"

(End song)

Amy grinned. "Oh goodie! Now let's get him girls!"

Vector started running like mad.

"What?! Help! Save meeee!"

They were just about to start beating him up when-

"VECTOR! GET YOUR LAZY ASS IN THIS KITCHEN AND EXPLAIN **WHY** THE OVEN IS ON FIRE!"

"Oh snap." Vector thought and hurried out.

* * *

Well, it's the end of this chapter! Question time!

How will Shadow get over Sonic's evil plan?

Will everyone stop ripping off major films?

Who IS the guy on the radio?

And will the environmentalists EVER get round to suing Tails and Knuckles?

All this answered in the next exciting episode of your faithful parody. Reviews gratefully accepted.


	10. Hangar Castle

**Hangar Castle.**

It's the POTG drinking game! Take a drink every time you see a reference to Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series. Dedicated to LK/CGFTW. Some quotes have been changed to suit the story.

* * *

"Where the HELL are we now?" Knuckles yelled as they walked casually through a not-so-scary pathway.

"Seriously, they call THIS a haunted castle/mansion? I've seen scarier stuff on "Cabin Fever". And we all know how stupid that film was." Tails said in annoyance.

"Yeah...if I remember rightly, we all got kicked out for falling asleep in the middle right?" Sonic asked, kicking a pumpkin head.

It smashed through a window.

"Oh man, I hope we don't get a court order for that!" Sonic looked around wildly.

"Don't worry, I'd be your lawyer!" Knuckles struck a dramatic pose cheerfully.

Sonic glared. "And get chucked in jail? Screw that!"

"Hey look, calm down Sonic or you'll turn into the Incredible Hulk!"

"Tails, that's Bruce Banner."

"Oh...I thought it applied to everyone." Tails replied dumbly and Knuckles rolled his purple eyes.

"Sure genius. But why are there so many guys in MARVEL called Bruce anyway? And why are they all "mild-mannered"? Couldn't they be ordinary for once?"

Sonic pretended to snore.

Knuckles wacked him over the head and sent him flying over the edge.

"AAAH! Oh jeez! What did you do?!"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry man! I'll get you!"

"Oh my god, I'm gonna die!"

"No you're not g-"

"I'M GONNA DIE ON A GAME ABOUT F82HG*$%KING ROBOTS AND CRAZY ALIENS!!" Sonic screamed at the top of his lungs.

"We're not in Star Wars Sonic! We're in Sonic Heroes. What gave you the idea we were in Star Wars?" Knuckles scratched his head in confusion.

Tails facepalmed.

*******************************************************

"I don't like it here Miss Amy! Can we go home?"

"NO! You will DIE if you mention giving up on Sonic!" Amy snarled like a bulldog.

"I thought the whole point of our ridiculously-easy game for two year olds was to get Chocola and Froggy back."

"Who the HELL are they Big?"

"Apparently they're our best friends."

"Wow...how sad." Amy muttered.

"Sure. Stalking your crush is perfectly normal compared to us." Big shook his head.

Cream smashed a few robots and checked through their wallets.

"Ooo look! A couple of credit cards! These are going straight in my pocket!"

Amy lobbed a pumpkin head over a wall.

"Look over there. We have to press the switch!"

"Find the switch?" Amy shouted, over-riding Big completely. "Okay!"

"No wait, it's right there." Big pointed to a purple glowing bulb thing.

"We HAVE to find the switch otherwise we can't get through this door!" Amy repeated loudly while Cream nudged Big deliberately and pointed to the camera, where the player could see through into the game.

Big got the hint and just let the two nimrods run wildly all over the platform, smashing boxes as they tried to "find" the switch.

The player banged her head against the wall, causing her to gain concussion.

They eventually "found" the switch by Amy falling face-first into it.

The oak gold-embossed doors opened and Team Rose sailed through, murdering robots.

******************************************************************************

Sonic still clung to the cliff-face, looking incredibly bored as Knuckles tried to entertain him by singing. Tails had gone off in search of a rope. Or something. Maybe even a cup of tea. Who knows?

"Ninety-six Eggman robots on the wall, ninety-six Eggman robots! You smash one down and pass it around, then there's ninety-five Eggman robots on the wall. Ninety-five Eggman robots on the wall-Come on Sonic! You're not singing!"

"I'm gonna show you the real power of friendship at this rate." Sonic muttered darkly.

Somewhere in Egypt a kitten died.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away...

Okay, I'm just kidding. It was actually two miles to the east. But that's neither here nor there.

"Oi! Don't go one step further!" Vector roared and Charmy and Espio turned back.

"What now Vector?" Espio sighed and crossed his arms.

"I can't see the ground we're walking on!"

"I told you we shouldn't have given him that DS game where you create your own levels for Christmas." Espio grumbled to no one in particular.

"No, I'm being serious! See?!" Vector pointed down at the see-through floor, its path only visible via the eerie candles giving off large flames.

"Holy **** on noodles with lettuce on top! You're right!"

"You have four eyes!" Charmy shrieked unexpectedly and Espio threw him into an abandoned broom closet, sealing it shut with an awesomely-thrown shuriken star.

"Thank the world for ninjas." Vector said. "Do you think we can get over this path safely?"

"Fear not, for we shall use my super special awesome ninja moves to get across!"

Espio then proceeded to jump off the path and plummeted out of sight.

"Actually, forget what I just said. What I MEANT to say was curse the Naruto series for spawning ninjas."

Espio came flashing back into view.

"Whew. Good thing I'm in a game huh? Otherwise things could have turned nasty."

Then a truckload of robots charged round the corner and pointed their guns at the hapless trio.

"Goddamn ninjas!" Vector shouted as the robots were brutally hacked to bits. Then-

STOOP!

We interrupt your reading with this urgent commercial.

(Ryou Bakura faces the camera, a grave look on his face as sad music begins to play)

"Everytime Sonic says something incredibly corny, a kitten dies.

This means that every day, over one thousand kittens die. And that's just one day.

We shudder to think how many kittens, adorable sweet kittens, will die tomorrow."

(The camera cuts to Yami Bakura talking to the interviewer, while stroking a kitten and wearing charity uniform)

"Our charity tries to do the best we can to help save kittens. We've been so busy these last few days, but we don't always make it on time to prevent a kitten's death. It's very sad for the families."

(The camera cuts back to Ryou in his suit)

"The SPCCK, or Society for Protection of Cruel Corniness against Kittens, is at this moment trying to raise money to buy a giant roll of duct tape to stop Sonic's cruelty for good.

So please, be compassionate and give two dollars today, and you too can save a kitten."

(Sad music ends and commercial finishes)

We'll now return you to your scheduled programme.

Vector stopped, tears in his eyes.

"We've got to stop this madness!" Espio cried, clenching his fist. "Think of the kittens!"

"You can't leave the mission! I need you to get me out of my prison, you fools!"

The radio crackled to life again.

"Yeah...about that. You haven't actually told us what we're supposed to be doing in this level." Charmy zoomed out of the closet and addressed this query to the walkie-talkie.

"No! My ninja powers of epicness failed! My horn is very upset!"

"Shut up Espio."

"Umm...well...this time you just have to find a load of pumpkins. Dr Eg- I mean the Mysterious Voice bids you good day." The radio fell silent again.

"Well, seeing as though we're incredibly gullible and naive, we're just going to blindly do as he says!" Vector cheered and Team Stupid raced off to hunt down pumpkins.

(Author's note: Millions of robots were harmed during the making of this game)

*******************************************************************************

And now we go to Team Dark, where Rouge was trying to coax Shadow out of a dark corner.

"Come out Shadow. It's okay. The paparazzi aren't here now." she said soothingly.

But Shadow just rocked back and forth, mumbling weird sentences to himself.

"I think he's finally snapped." Rouge cried sadly.

Omega just blew up a tree, which promptly burst into flames.

"Seriously Omega, can't you do ANYTHING without destroying something?!" Rouge threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"I WILL HAVE MY OWN TV SHOW!" Omega droned.

"Oh really. And what will this "show" be called?"

"...OMEGA AND PALS."

"You're just ripping off Zorc and Pals, created by the fabulous Little Kuriboh!"

"BUT-"

"No buts Mister! Go and stand in the corner! The readers and I are ashamed of you!"

Omega went and stood miserably in the corner.

"Now then." Rouge turned back to Shadow.

"Nuh uh! Put that tree branch down!"

Shadow replaced the branch. "Are you SURE there's no...reporters anywhere?" He visibly trembled.

Rouge thought this was totally adorable and gave him a bone-crushing hug, saying, "No more nasty reporter people Shadow."

Shadow brightened. "Oh good. I want to go now."

He then walked into a door because he wasn't looking where he was going. "Ow..."

Rouge rolled her eyes.

Then she spotted her favourite thing in the whole wide world.

"SMASH ROBOTS!!!!" she screamed and demolished them with Omega, Shadow pressing a switch while the machines were distracted.

"Good job Shadow!" Rouge squealed and kissed him on the cheek.

Shadow nearly died. "Oh save me! Giant walking chesticles!"

Don't worry, he survived.

Note the nearly.

He got to his feet and realised the other two had left him behind.

"WAIT FOR MEEEEEE!!!" he hollered in dismay and decided to use Chaos Control.

Problem was, he wasn't concentrating and ended up in the middle of the highway!

"Oh help me!" he squeaked as a massive lorry almost hit him.

* * *

And that's the end of this chapter!

Question time!

Are Rouge's breasts fake or real?

Rouge: "Hey! These aren't fake!"

Everyone else: "Riiight."

Lisa May: "I don't believe you!"

How will Shadow get back to the others?

Will Sonic get a court order for the broken window?

For that matter, will he even be around to receive it?

And will Team Chaotix ever actually have a decent mission for once?

Find this all out next time! And the answers for the number of references will be up next time!

I managed to work the paragraphing out, so it's okay now. And please give generously to the SPCCK! Those kittens need you! (points) Also, kids stealing is great fun! But stalking people is not.

Until next time, sayonara and jan ay!

(Reviews accepted with great happiness!)


	11. Haunted Mansion

**Haunted Mansion**

Hello everyone! I have absolutely nothing interesting to say! Just joking. There have been no reviews for this story whatsoever! :o faints from shock Still at 17 reviews! So, I am going to TRY to continue writing, seeing as though I am doing A-Levels now. And I'll hopefully get reviews while I'm away.

Lisa-May: Please review! gives give chibi eyes And am I in this chapter?

No. Not yet. Don't panic, you will be though.

Lisa: Phew!

Enjoy.

* * *

They stopped at the doors of the creepy, slightly gothic grey building.

"Where are we now?" Tails whispered, peering around worriedly.

"Eh, don't sweat it. This is just a shortcut." Sonic waved his gloved hand airily.

"That's what you said the last time when we took that detour through the field. We were pummelled by horses, remember?"

"Nothing like that's going to happen here Tails." Sonic scoffed.

He ate his words (went down nicely with ketchup) a couple of seconds later as two suits of armour sprang to life and started to beat the crap out of them.

"It is heavily implied that we are being injured!" Knuckles wailed as he flashed in and out of sight, rings scattering everywhere.

But, being a clever (and slightly insane) fox had its advantages and, after a couple of cream cakes and a mousetrap, they were able to escape relatively unscathed.

"Why can't we have proper violence for once? Every time there's a fight scene, stuff which would happen in the real world gets edited out!" Knuckles ranted, venting his annoyance by trashing five sentry robots that were standing around, drinking cups of tea.

"Mm! Earl Grey!" Tails picked up a cup and drained the fluids inside. "Wish there had been biscuits though."

"Do you reckon Tails is a British spy?" Sonic said aside to Knuckles, who nodded wisely.

"Yep. AND he's in love with a dead cabbage."

Sonic gaped. "Wha-?"

"Never mind."

Suddenly, a flash of light made them all jump violently.

"Gotcha! At last, I have tracked you down!"

Steve Irwin leapt out from behind a leafy bush and pointed dramatically at Tails and Knuckles.

"Over the top anime reaction!" cried the two Earth haters as a whole load of environmentalists bundled behind the legendary presenter.

"You destroyed half of a protected desert area!" yelled one environmentalist, brandishing an acoustic guitar.

"Yeah and you have no respect for the Earth maan!" called another, hurrying into the driver's seat of a VW camper van.

"You're gonna be screwed by American courts! No diplomatic immunity for you ey?" shouted a Canadian conservationist.

"Oh godammit!" squealed Tails and ran for it, followed eagerly by Knuckles.

The horde of environmentalists plus Steve Irwin trundled behind them, leaving a bewildered blue hedgehog eating their dust (didn't taste as nice as his own words).

"What the **** was that all about?" he wondered aloud.

Sonic then shrugged and shot off in the opposite direction, using his devastating blue quills to kill robots and rubbish pumpkin ghosts hanging from high ceilings, all the while singing Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

************************************************************

Team Dark trailed along some rails, watching a group of tin cans (or robots to you and me) re-enacting the battle scene from Pearl Harbour. For the sake of the plot, Shadow was transported back to the group via satellite.

"Terrible choreography." Rouge stated before turning her snowy head to Omega.

"Omega, what do your tracking sensors tell you about the distance to the next Chaos Emerald?"

"IT'S OVER NINE THOOOUSSAANND MILES TO THE NEXT ONE ROUGE." Omega replied tonelessly.

"Omega E123, HOW many times do you have to go into a corner to teach yourself NOT to copy from YouTube or TV anime shows?!" Rouge shouted angrily.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it Rouge." Shadow intervened to try and keep what little peace he'd been enjoying.

"As if!" Rouge snorted but didn't take it any further. Apart from throwing a pickle jar at the black warrior's head.

"Oww! That really hurt witch!" Shadow whined, rubbing his sensitive little face.

"Screw you wuss."

Shadow teared up. "You're mean!"

Before anyone could answer him, a huge spider-like robot monster started to chase them all down the rails.

"AAAGH!" they all screamed as they willed themselves to go faster.

Then a sixteen ton weight fell from the ceiling and squished the gigantic beast.

"That was lucky!" Rouge said brightly and they got off the rails.

Shadow was still whimpering in Omega's arms, for he had leapt onto Omega when the whole robot chase thing started.

Omega threw him off and Shadow went sailing headfirst into a window. That window led to a room where some robots were playing Scrabble.

"You're kidding me! I LOVE that game, can I play?"

The robots looked at each other, shrugged and welcomed him in.

Rouge and Omega became concerned when their midnight companion didn't show after a few minutes of hanging around waiting for the hapless hero and they smashed the door down to check what was happening. What they saw disturbed them greatly.

"Oh god, my eyes! They burn!" Rouge shrieked and dunked her head into a water bucket.

"DOES NOT COMPUTE!!" Omega repeated this several times until he almost exploded.

For Shadow was holding a Scrabble tea party with Eggman robots.

DUN DUN DUUUN!!

"The heroes NEVER associate with the villain's henchman. NEVEER!!"

Shadow started at the commotion, accidently smashing a robot with a letter square.

Pretty cool or what? Kicking shiny metal ass with a scrabble letter square. If only everything was as easy and dispensable as that...

Sorry. Back to the real story.

Rouge towered over the cowering ultimate life form, her evil death glare setting the rest of his robotic companions on fire.

"Hey! Those were my Scrabble buddies!" Shadow sniffed and glowered at her reproachfully.

"Well not any more, traitor!" Rouge pinched his sensitive ear and dragged him out of the door as the room burst into smouldering flames. Then Rouge and Omega tied Shadow up, like the crazy beggars they were, and they moved on to find the Chaos Emeralds and Eggman.

Amy paused, panting, and glanced behind her, only to see Cream and Big on their hands and knees, gasping for oxygen-filled air.

"Oh my gosh! We've only been running for FIVE minutes!"

"I. Need. !" Big gasped, breathing harshly.

"You're too fat that's why!"

Yellow eyes stared at her, hurt and showing a soul with wounded pride.

"I was BORN this way!"

The camera panned back and forth between them both for a minute, and then Cream broke the silence.

"I like toffee."

Amy just rolled her emerald eyes and sauntered on, leaving her partners to fend for themselves. Which wasn't a good idea.

"Come back Amy! We need you and your generic hammer of doom!" squealed Cream in high falsetto.

"Oh god, it hurts so badly!" Big yelled as he bashed (and was bashed around by) some stupid generic Eggman robots.

"I'm just going to make a generic insult of all these robots and then they'll die!" Amy cheered and the robots blew up to escape the generic crap.

Wow. A lot of generic stuff happened in that paragraph. Oh well.

"Wow! We're so cool! Just like Digimon!" yelled Cream.

"What the heck? DIGIMON? We're nothing like Digimon!" Big was outraged at this suggestion. "And anyway, they're not even real."

"Well neither are we."

"...Touche."

And so our brave heroes go valiantly onwards towards a giant stone sculpture of Eggman himself, while we go to our other motley crew, Team Chaotix.

"Hey y'all! How's it hanging?" cried the voice in the radio.

"Okay...reality check. What the hell happened to your voice?!" asked Espio in confusion.

"Just trying to be cool. Okay, you now need to find loads of pumpkins."

"But we just did that!" Charmy answered in annoyance, dumping a load on the ground.

"Ummm...then...find some switches to set this place on fire!"

"Fine. Just don't blame us if we get sent to jail for it."

Grabbing a massive torch from the wall, Vector touched the ground with it. A bright indigo flame spurted upwards, scaring the hell out of the crocodile.

"OMG!"

"ROFL!" answered Espio.

"LOL." cried Charmy.

"Now that's outta the way, let's wrap this up!" Vector exclaimed and together, the three pyromaniacs set fire to EVERY corner of Eggman's mansion. Needless to say, he got a massive bill.

* * *

Dream Channel.

And now we bring you our daily programme of epic fun.

Sonic raced at the speed of light down the hill, feeling the wind run lazily down his body. He had just seen the film Star Wars – Episode 3 and wondered what it would be like to be in one of the Star Wars films.

"So awesome." he muttered aloud and went into fantasy land.

Enter daydream.

Sonic found himself as one of the Storm Troopers listening outside the room of Darth Vader and the Emperor.

"What is thy bidding my master?" asked Darth Vader.

"It's a disaster, Skywalker we're after." Came the reply.

"But will he turn to the dark side?"

"Yes! He'd be a powerful ally. Another dark Jedi."

There was a heavy pause.

"He will join us or die."

Then they rapped a bunch of stuff about Death Star. Sonic thought this was way cool.

Suddenly, he found himself in Luke Skywalker's farm boy clothes and heard the uncle calling him.

"Luke? Luke?! Get your ass over here and stop mucking around with that damn landspeeder! Where're those two droids I asked you to clean boy? D'you clean your room?"

Sonic was indignant, but as he opened his mouth, a load of rap came out.

"I'm blowing; I know I'm on probation. I cleaned the droids; can I go to Hershey Station? I gotta lay away on my power-converter, but now you're treating me like a scruffy Narberger!"

Then he was streaking through the desert, while a ghostly was chanting,

"Luke, use the Force and run. Run to Deger Bog, run to Deger Bog. Luke, use the Force and run, run to Deger Bog, run to Deger Bog."

Yoda was in front of him next, giving Sonic great delight by rapping,

"I'm Yoda, I'm a soldier, I'm older than Trojan, I thought I toldja, don't be unwise to knock me by my size, you won't believe your eyes when the X-ray arrives!"

"Yoda, why're you being a player-hater? You know that I must still confront Lord Vader!" Sonic rapped back, pouting.

"But Luke, not ready are you!"

"There's a city in the clouds where they're keeping my crew. A Jedi's gotta do what a Jedi's gotta do, so now Vader, I'm COMING for you!"

Sonic thought how wacky this all was but didn't care because he loved this. Tails appeared for a brief moment, spouting garbage about how red dwarves blow up in space and then he was blown away by Darth Vader himself as he came menacingly towards Sonic, who now had a green lightsaber in his hand.

"Impressive. Now release your anger. You must consist that your friends are in danger." Darth Vader slashed and twirled.

"Ow! Why did you slice off my hand?!" Sonic looked down at the stump. Graphic.

"It is imperative that you understand. Obi-wan never went farther, telling you about your father."

"He told me enough, he told you killed him!" Sonic shouted.

"Then there's something I must reveal then. I'm your father, I'm your father. I'm your father, I'm your father. I'm your father, I'm your father."

Han Solo's voice cried into his ear from a headphone. "Knock him out the box Luke, knock him out. Knock him out the box Luke, knock him out. Knock him out the box Luke, knock him out. Knock him out the box Luke."

(End dream)

Then he fell out of his chair screaming "PLOT TWIST!"

"Whoa. You okay?" Knuckles asked, shaking the bewildered hedgehog,

"I just had a great Star Wars daydream! Wait...how did I get in this chair?"

"You were running in screaming rap crap." (Rhymes are awesome!)

"Okay. Then what?"

"You knocked yourself out with a Yu-Gi-Oh trading card."

"Wow...I must've been screwed at that point."

Knuckles smacked him over the head and left.

The end.

* * *

Sorry about the last chapters. I forgot these daydreams! (gets shot)

Next time there will be fancharacters! QUESTIONS!

Will Tails and Knuckles escape the environmentalists?

How big will Eggman's bill be?

Will Shadow be able to play Scrabble ever again?

And will there be an obligatory Death Note reference in the next chapter?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME! 


	12. Egg Fortress

**Egg Fortress.**

Hi everyone! I have my own forum now where you can ask THE characters anything you like. There are also auditions to play a few (apart from Shadow. Sorry.). Here's the next chapter for POTG: SZ.

Link for forum:.net/myforums/LilyRosetheDreamer/1820888/

* * *

"Yes! After miles and miles of doing pointless crap, we're FINALLY here!"

Knuckles got down on his hands and knees, shouting to the sky.

"Shut up Knux, we're here now. Although I have NO idea how the hell we made it up here by walking in the first place." Sonic remarked, watching Tails spin around on his two tails.

"All worship Ra!" Knuckles exclaimed and was falcon punched by The Pharaoh from Yu-Gi-Oh.

"Ow! Stop that!"

"So? We can do whatever we want!"

They both glanced at each other, and then pointed dramatically into the air.

"Because we're voiced by Dan Green!"

There was a round of applause.

Sonic searched around wildly for the source of the noise. Then the mighty douche bag, Dr Eggman spoke through some speakers.

"Hohoho, do you fools have a death wish? Witness this explodable-I mean INVINCIBLE battleship, built by the hands of a genius! Its power, unmatched throughout the-"

He was cut off by a loud explosion.

"Stop blowing up my stuff!" wailed the doctor, before his speakers were shattered by Tails.

"God, I thought he was never gonna shut his mouth."

Tails said frankly, dusting his hands.

Sonic grinned. "And now for our epic adventure, our exciting travels, our heroic deeds, our-"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Knuckles and Tails at the same time.

Sonic stared at them, hurt beyond belief. "Don't make me use my amazing powers on you."

Robots suddenly converged on them.

"DIIEE! By the power of Greyheart!" shouted Sonic and crushed each and every last one of them, just by the sheer corniness of his words.

Somewhere Shadow's voice could be heard crying, "My Scrabble buddies!"

"Wow, that nerd needs to get a life." stated Tails. Knuckles and Sonic both looked meaningfully at the little fox.

"Oh ha-ha, I get it. Well, you can both **** off."

Both of his team-mates gasped and a robot that had been sneaking up behind him with his shield raised fainted clean away.

"Kids game, KIDS GAME!" screamed Sonic, battering Tails with a baseball bat.

"Why can't we ever get a move on?!" Knuckles called, already on the other side of the open area.

"Hey! Wait for us!" cried his mates and they destroyed the ships together. Awww.

**********************************************

Rouge moved quietly forwards. "Ssh."

Shadow frowned. "Why?"

"Because there's one of those E-2000 or 3000 or...something robots over there. And they shoot lasers and everything."

Shadow seemed worried. "Okay, we'll have to have a totally different battle plan! Omega can-"

He was interrupted by this two wacko-jacko teammates charging headlong at the robots.

"Well, there goes two of the finest minds of their generation." Shadow put a pilgrim's hat on his fluffy chest (aww, it is so widdle and cute and-oh, you're all still here. Never mind.) and bowed his head.

Two seconds later, there was a gigantic mushroom cloud explosion and Shadow darted into the fray shrieking, "Oh my Chaos, they're actually dead!"

He rummaged around in the wreckage and pulled out coughing Rouge.

"Oh my smexy hero!" she half-sang and gave him a smooch.

"Sexy-time eh?" Omega wheezed in a voice that sounded like Borat.

Shadow promptly passed out.

"He must have really loved my kiss!" Rouge giggled and Omega did the Robot dance behind her.

"And then I'm going to smash your face in with a brick." Shadow mumbled in a creepy accent. Rouge peeped fearfully at him but he was still way out of it.

"Wait a minute...how did he get out of our rope-tying skills?!" she cried in realisation.

(Hmm...a mystery.)

Shadow flung himself upwards abruptly, screaming "NINJAS!! They killed my rubber duck!"

"Did they? How interesting old chap!" replied a Victorian astiocrat with a monocle in his left eye and smoking a pipe.

"It's Queen Victoria!" exclaimed Shadow and ran over with an obligatory anime motorbike.

"Oh beggaration!"

And then they died. The end.

If only. Then I'd have some peace from the voices in my living room.

Uh...anyway...

*********************************************

Team Chaotix were hanging off the edge of a steel ledge.

"Oh what cold damnation is this?" Espio shouted, earning himself a kick in the back for his liberations.

"Shut up Espio! I don't see YOU doing anything about our dilemma!" Charmy grumbled.

"Yeah, about that...YOU can FLY!" Vector pointed out with the air of someone talking to an incredibly stupid person (Oh wait, that's what Vector is doing).

"So, why, oh god why, are you STILL hanging off this dangerous ledge for?"

"Good point." Charmy lifted off, hovering above the other two. "Well, bye-bye."

And thus, the bee "buzzed" off (Get it? Eh? Oh to America with you.).

Vector seemed positively mortified. "He's gone!"

"Unless that's his invisible soul." Espio said sarcastically. "But fear not! My amazing ninja powers will have us out of here in no time!"

"Go wild!" Vector somehow shrugged.

"I summon my ninja katana!"

It blew up in their faces and sent them soaring onto the grey platform.

"Well, it half-worked!" Espio motioned in surprise.

"And the other half?" Vector queried.

"Meant we were almost blown to pieces!" Espio exclaimed rather cheerfully.

Charmy was waiting for them with a Chinese hat on.

"Where'd you get that?" Vector felt bewildered.

"From someplace special."

They couldn't get any more out of the insect after that so they plunged into the fray of terrorists and spear-wielding maniacs.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the universe, Amy Rose and her long-suffering friends were searching for Sonic and those two pets that they'd completely forgotten about (Coke Cola and Troggy or something).

And their psychopathic pink friend had been searching for the blue President of the Corny Jokes Club for so long that her stalkerish love had lost all meaning to the players.

"I'm fed up with this! I've even forgotten our whole storyline! Can't we just go home and I could do equations all over my walls like some sort of malevolent asylum patient?" Big complained, getting all hot and bothered.

Amy turned on him like a cornered hamster.

"NO! I'll throw you off in a minute!"

And they fully believed her.

Cream spoke up a little while later. "Amy-"

And then the ship blew up and made a pretty firework display.

And that's also how Amy was sent to therapy after the game.

* * *

Now for the Daydream Channel.

Shadow settled on the sofa to watch the Sonic X programme.

"I wonder what would happen if they made a movie of this..." Shadow lifted his eyes to the sky and dreamed.

"Action Shadow! For goodness sake, are you even listening?!"

Shadow started, and then gasped. He was in the movie!

"Um, yes, right." Shadow grabbed his copy of the script then looked across at Sonic. "Faker? I think it is YOU who's the faker! Die, bloodless curl!"

He grabbed a sword and swatted at Sonic with it, but Sonic fought back with a herring and a banana.

Knuckles suddenly stormed in. "The Metarex are coming!" he screamed in a French accent.

"Knuckles, why are you French?" Shadow asked.

"Because the script says so." Tails whispered aside for his benefit.

Shadow ducked as Rouge tried to kill him with a knife. "What is wrong with everyone?!"

"Nothing. It's in the script." Gamma replied, swiping at him with a chainsaw and a dog (???).

The point of the chainsaw was JUST about to make contact with his head when-

"SSSHHHHAAAAADDDOOOWWW!!!"

"Oh god, I left the toilet seat down!" Shadow cried and ran from the room.

* * *

Please review everyone!


	13. Egg Carrier

**Egg Carrier.**

Well, finally managed to update! If this title level is wrong, PLEASE tell me so I can change it. And there will definitely be fan chars this time I promise. Sorry about last time! Enjoy.

* * *

The sky was dark and crackling with lightening. Rain lashed down on to the giant airship fleet riding on wind and fire. Lightening illuminated a lone figure atop a satellite pole, watching over the intrepid (and rather stupid) heroes. Red eyes glowed and a metallic screeching sound occurred, sounding like laughter (although it was very difficult to say)...

All in all, it was very serious and dramatic.

Until he fell off.

Whoever it was probably wouldn't be revealed until the final stage, just to keep the din-witted players who hadn't already figured out it was Metal Sonic on their toes.

Oops. Just revealed the plot. Never mind.

Team Sonic landed rather clumsily on the rails that slope downwards and shone neon gold. Unfortunately Knuckles was just that bit too clumsy and landed on a particularly sensitive, yet apparently "manly" area.

"OOOHHHH!! F?!+G?!! So...painful!"

"Hey look! We're all glowing in the dark!" Tails pointed out cheerfully, ignoring Knuckles as he fell slowly sideways and spiralled to his inevitable death (again).

"Oh that's because SEGA can't afford proper gaming art equipment so they had to use neon paint, paper and a scanner." Sonic replied, preening in every reflection of himself he spotted. "They did a RATHER good job of me, didn't they?"

"Yeah, if you like staring at eye-watering blue all the time." Knuckles said matter-of-factly as he flashed back into existence.

"You just don't understand the true meaning of friendship, do ya?" Then Sonic leered cheesily.

Somewhere, a hundred kittens all died at once. Vets were baffled.

Tails stared up at the giant cannons that shot and missed every time.

"There's nothing happening here, is there? Can we go home? My mummy wants me back by at least seven o'clock."

"Well sure, why don't we just fly all the way home with our invisible wings and let the world get destroyed!" Sonic ranted, standing upside down and grinding on his head.

**"That would explain the probably severe brain-damage."** thought Tails, rolling his eyes.

"Sonic, Eggman can't destroy the world."

"And how do you know that?!"

"Because it's in his contract."

"We have contracts?!" Sonic's green eyes bugged out. It looked painful.

"How else would SEGA get in its bone-crushing, soul-draining, clichéd jaws?" Tails asked incredulously. Was Sonic really this stupid?

Obviously so.

"They told me it was a message from outer-space!"

Just then, they each got fried by a random shock of electricity that somehow colour co-ordinated with the rails they were on.

"Oh s$£!!"

It's not an E game anymore kids!

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, Team Chaotix were bashing robots around and avoiding random blasts of lightening that tried to kill them.

"God damn you SEGA!" Vector yelled, dancing from one foot to the other.

Espio hopped into a gun machine and gunned down the remaining robots and a rather misplaced and unlucky stranger (here come the fancharacters!) going by the name of Scorch the Echidna, who was red and an obsessive Knuckles fan. At that moment in time, he had been tracking him using his nose and a leek. Yep, I'm pretty sure that was one of their ancient traditions.

"Great Espio, now we'll have the creator of that guy hunting us down and making us pay a massive bill! Thanks a lot."

Charmy sailed round to flutter in front of Vector's shiny green head.

"I'll give you a dollar!"

"What for?" Vector inquired, wondering what bet he had won this time.

"I'll give you two dollars!" Charmy repeated, grinning.

"What for?"

"I'll give you two dollars."

"What FOR?!"

Suddenly another fancharacter (they're like spawning zombies!) leapt out from behind a mass of steel ruins, brandishing a cross. His name was Connor.

"Get back! He is possessed by thy devil!"

The grey and black wolf rushed forward and proceeded to beat Charmy to death with his very heavy silver cross.

"WHOA WHOA, stop that!" Vector jumped in between them, holding out his hands. "If you get rid of him, we'll lose one of the most minor characters in the game!"

"Hey!"

"I am a devil hunter!" Connor cried, his amber eyes gleaming madly. For some reason, he also sounded like Sideshow Mel (not normally, trust me!).

Espio shot him with a hand gun.

"Where the hell are you getting these guns from?!" squawked Vector while Charmy just shook his head.

"We really need to stop killing these fancharacters."

In the real world, the author of these characters shrieked and, grabbing a phone from her computer desk drawer, she proceeded to dial a number.

"Hello? Yes, it's me. We have a situation. Code Green, Pink and spotty Purple."

The other author at the end gasped at the seriousness of her tone and the amount of colours.

"My GOD! Surely not THAT one!"

"Yes I'm afraid so. The real characters have turned against the fancharacters. We must act quickly."

"I'll meet you at...the place."

"Yes. The place."

The two said this in a tone that contained ill-boding and the hint of ninja outfits, with extra flashy lightening effects. As the phone bleeped, signalling the end of the call, the author threw it on her comfy bed in her cornflower blue room and grabbed a ninja outfit, slinky and black, from the top of her wardrobe. Putting it on, she coughed from all the dust and leapt onto her windowsill, looking dramatically at the full shining moon.

Then her mom yelled;

"Are you leaping out of the window in that ninja suit again?! I told you no more of that! You're ruining the lawn! You'll also give your father ideas again!"

"MOM! It's urgent! I have to save the world as we know it!" The girl rolled dark green eyes.

"Alright then, but come and get your flask of tea and hat first!"

"I'll have the tea but NOT the hat! I hate it!"

"Honey, it looks adorable on you!" her mother screeched. "Now wear it or you won't be allowed to save the world!"

"Fine..." A flash and she was in the kitchen. A few seconds and she was back, with a mis-shaped tea cosy on her head and a flask of tea.

"Our mission is go."

And nutmeg hair flew as she jumped. And landed on her face.

"Ow..."

Big peered around the corner, brandishing his fishing pole and looking for the enemy.

"It's okay Cream. No sign of Amy."

Cream breathed.

"Thank GOODNESS! It's a good job we ran away when we did."

Cheese nodded seriously, now sporting a bright pink Mohawk.

"Going somewhere?"

The two slowly turned to face possibly the scariest stalker the gaming world has ever seen.

"Where did you go guys?" Amy asked calmly, tapping her foot.

"W-we got lost. Yeah, that's believable." Big answered with a gulp, his purple ears flattening.

Amy stared at them for a long, heart-hammering moment, then shrugged to their relief.

They'd live for another few hours of screen time.

Team Dark, meanwhile, were battling the giant robots that could only be defeated if you took their helmets off. This didn't make them any weaker, oh no.

"Oh my god! They can see my baldness! This is too much of a shock to my systems!" cried the giant silver robot, clutching his head as lightening flashed in the cloudy sky and exploded, showering the "hardest team in the game" with metal and fire.

Yes, they literally die of embarrassment.

"Oh noo! My spikes are on fire!" Shadow screamed as he dashed round and round, batting at his precious multicoloured hair, which looked pretty in flames.

Well, that was the opinion of Lisa-May the Fox, who was ironically a fire-fighter (this is getting stupid now).

"I'll save you!" she yelled, donning her gear and wielding a giant hose.

"No! Not a giant hose! It's just like that time when Maria attacked me with one!" Shadow backed away in fear.

"That explains so much, yet so little." Rouge observed dryly as Shadow threw himself off the level, with Lisa-May right behind him.

"WE MUST MOVE ON. EGGMAN IS CLOSE." Omega commented randomly, obviously keeping with the script.

"Oh right, we're after a fat megalomaniac and stuff. I totally forgot all about that." Rouge said, beginning to fly away.

"Why, what did you think we were doing?" Shadow asked, materialising rapidly in front of his companions, neither of whom batted an eyelid. It was becoming normal now.

"Getting screen-time and free food."

They started to race away, but as usual, Omega had to ruin the effect by tripping and falling into the other two, who both rolled down a hill and out of sight.

A distant "Ow." was heard.

In a dark room, lit by a single giant screen showing the antics of a red plumber and his merry friends, a chuckle was heard.

"Everything is going to plan so far. This game that our rivals have brought out is so rubbish in 3D, and so cliché, that people will be crying for its destruction."

"But people still move against us!" protested another suited man. "Surely the plan has not succeeded yet?"

"No." replied another guy with dark glasses. "But it will soon. And then Nintendo shall rule all!"

"DOWN WITH OTHER GAMING COMPANIES! ALL HAIL NINTENDO!" shouted the entire table as they clapped fists to their chests.

* * *

Ooo! Lots of questions!

Just who are these authors? (By the way, I need someone to audition for one of the authors. Just PM me with a description of yourself, making it creative of course, and I'll PM the winner, putting YOU in my story!)

What dastardly plot does Nintendo have in store?

Will any fan characters stay alive through the rest of this fanfic?

And will the Sonic crew actually stick to the script and the plot?

Find out next time!


	14. Final Boss

**Parody of the Games: Sonic Zeroes.**

**Chapter 14 – Final Boss.**

* * *

Sonic and his two pals sped towards the waiting Eggman, who laughed manically while sitting inside a giant robot. What a surprise.

"Why hello Sonic! Come to watch the planet fall?"

Tails rolled his eyes. "You said that last week."

"I-"

"And the week before that."

"But-!"

"AND the week before that. Seriously, what do you do, sit in your lair of doom and try to think of things say to us?"

Eggman looked sheepish. "Actually yes. That way, SEGA can't write my lines for me."

Sonic gaped. "Well, they're really…corny!"

Knuckles seemed shocked. "And THIS is coming from the guy who's the President of the Corny Jokes Club?"

Suddenly (big drama coming up) Sonic turned on Knuckles.

"Why doesn't anyone appreciate me? LOOOVE MEE!" Sonic screamed, going emo to create drama and tragedy to the plot. The player just banged his head on the couch.

"Just get on with the fighting and rubbish storyline! I haven't got all day! Get a life will ya!"

"Says the person talking to us video-game characters." said Tails and the player winced.

"Touche."

"Behold my 538th useless creation, the Egg-Mobile!"

Batman appeared from the shadows, like a ninja.

"If you'll don't change the name of that thing, you'll be sued for copyright and make me richer than I already am!" Batman yelled, throwing a batarang at Eggman's head.

"Yeah!" said Robin defensively.

"Shut up Robin."

"Yes sir."

Eggman winced, rubbing his shiny head. "Fine! I already used that one anyway. How about the Egg Carrier? Oh, we're standing on that."

Eggman hummed for several minutes before another fancharacter called Alan Tracey (NOT Thunderbird Alan) appeared, racing by on an invisible bicycle.

"Just call it the Gold Egg and get on with it!"

"But that's not its name! It's - !"

"The authoress couldn't remember the real name and she's too lazy to look it up."

A flash of lightning streaked down from the stormy sky, killing him instantly. Meanwhile, the authoress whistled innocently.

"You're just jealous of my invisible bicycle…" Alan stated weakly before dying. Which was strange because he was supposed to have died INSTANTLY.

"Quick, we have to beat this robot, which has no purpose other than to advance the story!" yelled Tails, spinning his two tails as he lifted himself into action. The robot did a variety of silly poses to make himself look "scary". Knuckles yawned.

"Boring."

He then drew out an IPhone and whispered some instructions into it. A few seconds later, Mafia ninjas jumped out of nowhere and proceeded to beat the ever-loving doo out of the robot and Eggman. Sonic turned to Knuckles incredulously.

"You have connections with the Japanese Mafia?"

"No, I am the Mafia BOSS of the Japanese Mafia." Knuckles said in a suave tone, producing black–tinted sunglasses from somewhere and putting them on, breaking the fourth wall in the process.

Tails fainted.

The player meanwhile actually looked excited.

"Finally, an INTERESTING plot-twist!"

Sonic gasped. "OMG, a gigantic plot-twist! We've never seen one of these before!"

Eggman blew up, being ANOTHER one of those fake Egg-robots.

"Where do these keep coming from?" Tails shrieked, recovering from his shock-induced faint and losing his head completely as he jumped up and down on its withered remains.

"Meh, let's get outta here and randomly blow up this ship as we leave, just for some added dramatic CGI effects." Knuckles said.

"Good idea! That's the last we'll see of any evil for a while!" Sonic replied cheerfully.

And the Dynamic Trio walked away in slow motion, ripping off every CSI programme as the scenery behind them exploded. But from the silvery Eggbot gloop, there arose Metal Sonic, laughing insanely. How he managed it, we can only guess.

"Data from hedgehog - copied. Now, how do I get this stuff off?"

* * *

Team Dark stopped before another Gold Eggbot with Eggman at its helm.

"Hey, wait a minute; weren't you just killed by the Japanese Mafia?" Rouge asked in confusion.

"You're not supposed to know we're here, you dolt!" Knuckles' voice echoed from far away on the other side.

"Oh yeah." Rouge coughed for a second and struck a sexy pose. One of the SEGA workers had a nose-bleed.

"Well, look who it isn't." Shadow observed, cracking his knuckles. "I'm gonna beat you fool!"

"Shadow for the last time, stop thinking you're Mr T."

"Stop ruining the dream!" Shadow screeched.

"Oh it gets worse in Shadow the Hedgehog the video game." Omega suddenly chipped in, speaking like a game show host.

"I think your voice box is broken again." Rouge said before turning her attention back to the giant golden robot, which kept being illuminated by flashes of lightening.

"Ooo…pretty!" Rouge squealed, thinking it was jewellery.

"Quick, someone give her a necklace!" Shadow cried and an opal necklace fell out of the sky, hitting Rouge on the head and knocking her out.

"Not exactly what I meant but I'll go with it." Shadow shrugged and built up a Chaos Spear. Omega shot at the robot with a laser ray and it used its giant shield to deflect it.

"Hey that's not fair, how come HE gets a giant shield and we don't? I want one!" Shadow pouted, blowing its right arm off with his Chaos Spear.

"No need to have a tantrum!" Eggman shouted.

Shadow then used Chaos Blast to blow the rest up. Just to make sure Eggman was dead, he then used a rocket launcher, followed by a nuclear bomb.

"RADIATION!" Omega cried robotically, running around in circles with panic.

"Omega, you're a robot. You don't get affected by radiation."

"OH YEAH!" Omega rasped and proceeded to clunk off towards a door that looked suspicious.

Rouge suddenly came round.

"What happened?"

Shadow glared at her. "We won. No thanks you."

Rouge just bashed him over the head with a rubber duck.

"NOO! Rubber duck, why did you betray me?" Shadow burst into tears and ran off, smacking himself into a pillar and knocking himself out – again.

Omega zoomed back over to Rouge.

"You'll never guess what I've found!" he cried in a sing-song girly voice.

Rouge's curiosity was aroused.

That's never a good thing.

Omega lead her back to the mystery door and she stepped inside. A minute later, she gasped at what she saw.

"OMG! Shadow clones! I never saw this coming!"

"Neither did I actually!" the player answered before smacking himself. "No more talking to video games!"

Omega and Rouge heard Shadow come running up the next minute and practically threw themselves out of the door, slamming it shut behind them.

"What was that?" Shadow asked shrewdly.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! We totally weren't looking in any secret on suspicious looking rooms or anything!" Rouge babbled and ran around in circles, gesturing madly to the sky. Shadow gaped at her for a moment before shrugging.

"Okay. Let's blow this joint."

Five minutes later, the ship they were on blew up.

* * *

Team Rose were dancing in happiness as they had finally succeeded their long and useless quest to find two sub-characters that didn't hold any point other than to get them to that particular spot in the first place.

"Chocola! You're safe!" Cream trilled, fastening the light blue bow (she had selected it from the massive collection of bows that she had at home) on his neck. The brown chao clapped happily.

"Some people collect stamps. She collects bows." Amy said, shaking her head.

As soon as Cream turned away, Cream and Chocola looked at each other, grimaced and tore their bows off, throwing them off the ship.

Big grinned at the squishy green frog on his shoulder.

"Nice to see you again bud!"

"What I wanna know is HOW they appeared out of that gooey crap! Are they aliens or something?" Amy referred to the moment when they had defeated the giant gold robot (well, Amy had crushed it after it called her a stalker) and the minor pets had risen from the silver remnants like that white whale rising out of the sea in Moby Dick, only not as scary, causing Amy to shriek and pass out.

"Who cares?" Big retorted. "Now let's get outta here so I can pig out on pizza and come up with the formula for life."

Amy wasn't listening. The crazy green glint in her emerald eyes signalled one thing.

"SOONNNIIKUUUU!" she squealed, shattering every living things eardrums on Earth and Mars.

"Oh god, not the pink spawn of Satan! Anybody but her!" Sonic's terror was heard from the other end of the ship.

"We're united at last, my beloved!" Amy cried with joy and bolted towards the poor blue sap.

"Sucks to be you." Big muttered and snuck away.

Cream just laughed and ran too.

* * *

Team Chaotix, meanwhile, weren't quite sure where they were.

"Charmy, are you sure you're reading the SatNav right?" Espio asked for the umpteenth time.

"Yes! We're in New York!"

A tumbleweed blew past.

"We're supposed to be in the Final Fortress level, NOT New York." Vector answered through gritted teeth.

"Must not ninja-kill bee." Espio's mind repeated over and over again.

Suddenly, a giant snowball rolled past with a head and a waving hand sticking out of it, being followed by a load of racing cars.

"HHHEEELLLPPP MMEEEEEEE!" screamed Jasmine the Hedgehog. Then the cars crashed into her snowball and blew it up.

"Never saw THAT coming." Vector remarked before sky-diving off the cliff they were currently on. "Come on guys, this is the only way to get into the level!"

Five minutes of Espio's ninja screaming later, they landed in the final level…on the gold robot, killing it instantly.

"Well, that was one of the most convenient, easiest boss villains ever!" Vector said happily as they got down from the robot. Just then, they heard a voice. Which could suggest that they were losing it, but when Espio found Eggman sitting inside a dark room, sobbing about how Metal Sonic had kidnapped him and tortured him with High School Musical 1, 2 AND 3, well, even the player felt a little sorry for him.

* * *

And that's it! But here is the next part of The Daydream Channel.

Knuckles lay drowsily next to his precious Master Emerald, thinking about what his life would be like if he didn't guard it.

"Maybe…if I was an accountant." He said out loud and began to imagine it…

"Sir, sir, wake up! You have work in five minutes!" a female voice cried. The room seemed to be shaking. Oh wait, it was just Rouge waking him up…

He raised his head and sat up, blinking blearily at her…IN A MAID OUTFIT?

The day had just become brilliant for Knuckles the Accountant.

"Rouge, you couldn't get me a cooked breakfast, could you?" he asked hesitantly and grinned when she smiled at him obediently.

"I'll make it for you now. And give you something more too." She winked flirtingly and sauntered off. The next thing he knew, time had flashed forwards and he was now slumped in his office, shouting at one of the lower level accountants.

"The stocks aren't doing very well in your department! In fact, I don't understand any of this stuff that you gave me! Why is that, hmmm?" Looking up from the official papers, he realised that the person standing quivering in front of him was none other than Tails.

"Sir, I can explain, those are very simple calculations. Don't you get them?" Tails answered nervously and Knuckles glared. "No, I'd know if they were simple calculations! You're fired."

Tails shot out of the room, looking upset. Suddenly, a robber looking remarkably like Cream whipped out a gun in front of Tails and forced him back into the room.

"Give me all of your money or I'll…do something." Cream said threateningly. Knuckles laughed and pulling out one of the drawers, swung it over his head. Cream screamed and ran. Five minutes later, Knuckles got an award from the President for protecting an innocent citizen from such a "dangerous criminal". The medal was just being put over his head when…

"!"

The crimson echidna shot upwards and glared and Sonic. "You just disturbed my dream about being an accountant!"

Sonic sweat-dropped. "Sheesh, you don't get out very much, do ya?"

Knuckles then turned around and saw a horrible sight.

"She's gone! My baby is gone! I've gotta get her back! Stay here and guard the Master Emerald!" And with that, he jumped off the island, screaming his head off.

"How the HELL am I supposed to do that if it's been kidnapped?"

* * *

How did I do? Please review and look out for the next chapter!


	15. This Is It!

**Parody of the Games: Sonic Zeroes.**

**Chapter 15: Metal Sonic Boss.**

Hi, sorry it's been so long! After a horrendous delay, this is the last chapter EVER on Sonic Zeroes and then I'll happily move on to something else e.g. Shadow the Hedgehog (not sure what I'll call THAT though. Any ideas?). Please enjoy as this will hopefully be better than other chapters.

* * *

Eggman sobbed miserably into his hands as Charmy comforted him. Espio took the opportunity to ninja-kick the three DVDs of High School Musical out of the nearest window.

"And on top of that, I haven't eaten for a week! I'm wasting away!"

The Chaotix looked at his fat form for a minute, then said;

"Nah!"

"Who did this to you?" Vector asked and Espio's eyes widened in realization.

"Wait, I've figured it out!"

The player looked up hopefully. "You've figured out that the Mysterious Client was actually the REAL Eggman?"

"The secret of ninja life is 52!"

"Okay never mind."

"M – Metal Sonic did this to me..." Eggman cried as dramatic lightning and thunder effects sounded from nowhere. A sad violin melody drifted in. "I should never have upgraded him to Windows Vista! The man at the shop told me; 'Windows 7, oh god pick Windows 7!' I realise now that I'm a PC and Windows 7 was my salvation!"

Charmy threw his left shoe at the violinist, causing him to screech to a halt and fall off the stage.

"I need to get to him and upgrade him to Windows 7!"

Vector and Espio nodded.

"We'll help you, oh wise sage!" Espio yelled.

Meanwhile, on another planet, Sonic and his team were running headlong towards the tallest tower in Eggman's fleet, after spotting Metal Sonic snatching mini robot planes out of the sky (Tails had been trying to bird watch with those binoculars).

Unfortunately, Sonic was too busy gawping and running at the same time and consequently tripped, bumping his noggin.

"Le gasp!" Knuckles yelped as he knelt beside his best friend. Team Rose and Team Dark arrived on the scene moments later.

"Sonic, can you hear me? How many fingers am I holding up?" Tails held up three.

"Three."

"Where are you?"

"Eggman's battleship."

"What's your name?"

"...Batman." Sonic draped an imaginary cape around himself.

"Please say he's kidding." Cream squeaked.

"Where the hell is my utility belt?" Sonic yelled, checking his waist.

"Not kidding." Rouge groaned.

Shadow, on the other hand, seemed to perk up.

"Ooo, does that mean I can be Robin now?"

"NEVER! I'M his sidekick and I wanna be Robin!" Tails snapped, glaring at a depressed Shadow.

"Well, I want to be Batgirl." Knuckles proclaimed and there was a short, awkward silence. Big edged away.

From above, Metal Sonic grew impatient.

"OI, stop forgetting about me!"

"Holy fish sticks, it's King Kong!" Sonic shouted, losing his head. "Take him down with a wing ding Nightwing!"

"There is no Nightwing and you're not Batman!" Amy cried. Eggman came on the scene just then, having been given a piggy-back by Vector as he was too lazy to walk.

"I'll snap him out of it!"

Producing a chilli-dog from nowhere, he proceeded to dangle it in front of Sonic's nose.

"FOOD!" Sonic scoffed it and jumped up, pointing at Metal Sonic. "Begone, foul devil in metal!"

"I never thought I'd glad to hear him be so corny." Tails sighed.

Sonic squatted to the floor, seeming slightly constipated.

"The toilet is that way if ya wanna go." Charmy said in disgust, pointing to the left.

"No, you little idiot, I'm trying to get into my Super form!"

Shadow held out a Superman cape, blinking.

"What is it with you and DC comics? No, I meant my rip-off version of Dragonball Z."

Everybody sighed as they understood and Big spoke up.

"Aren't you supposed to have the Chaos Emeralds for that?"

Sonic leapt up and shouted; "I KNEW I'd forgotten something!"

"And you can't battle me until you've got ALL of the Emeralds! The Game Rule No. 106 says so!" Metal Sonic called down cheerfully, swinging round and round his tower.

"That's just so addictive to watch." Vector cocked his head to one side and Espio ninja-slapped him.

"Do we have to?" Shadow whined and Rouge got Espio to ninja-slap him too.

The player cried before steeling himself to grab the Emeralds. The intrepid explorers set off. Five hours of swearing, facial injuries and coma-inducing psychedelic colours later, the four teams were back, most of them holding shining jewels.

"Rouge, that's not a Chaos Emerald, that's the Pink Panther Diamond."

"Aww." Rouge pouted, then reluctantly gave it to the irritated French man with a detective's hat and long beige overcoat who had been stalking her.

"At last, we have eet back!" With a poof, he disappeared. Sonic glanced around at his friends with open arms.

"So, who's gonna valiantly and possibly sacrifice their lives to keep the giant tin can busy while Tails, Knuckles and I take about twenty wasted minutes to level up into our Super forms?"

"Wait, we have Super forms?" Tails and Knuckles were baffled by this new development.

Nobody moved and Eggman subtly crept away.

"There are people and cameras watching all over the world." Sonic whispered from the side of his mouth and they sprang to life.

"Ooo, pick me, pick me!" Amy jumped up and down while Shadow clenched his fists and slid into "brave Shadow" mode.

"We'll distract him while you change." He replied in his sexy, quiet voice, which caused a dozen British fan girls to faint.

"Why, what a good idea! Wish I'd thought of that!" Sonic answered loudly.

"But you did-!"

"THANK YOU so much!"

Grumbling, Rouge picked up Shadow and Omega and flew up to Metal Sonic, followed by Team Rose and Team Chaotix. It was like watching a double rainbow coming towards you.

Metal Sonic sighed and put his popcorn away.

"Finally! I thought I was going to have to put up camp for the night or something."

Team Rose approached his left side rapidly, Amy raising her hammer wickedly.

"We'll be through with you before nightfall, trust me!"

Metal Sonic roared and cackled manically.

"You're kidding me right? You should be in bed by now!"

"I may be twelve, but that was TOTALLY the wrong thing to say to me!" Amy screeched, hurting everyone's eardrums again. The petite pink Barbie (sorry, I mean hedgehog) landed with a tap on one of the platforms and raised her hammer menacingly.

"BOOYAH!" she yelled and started pummelling the robot monster in many places. Cream and Big once again set up their deck chairs.

"Think we can leave this first bit to her?" Big asked and Cream nodded wisely.

"The force is strong in this one."

Big's eye twitched.

"Whatever."

* * *

Sonic and Tails glared at their chess pieces.

"Hmm...Oh, dash it all! You confounded fox, you've put me in a bloody tricky spot!" Sonic cursed and Tails smiled.

"Elementary, my dear Sonic."

Knuckles slurped his grape juice as he continued to study them.

"So, let me get this straight. You've sent three groups of our friends off to their possible demises by lying to their very faces, telling them that it takes a while to power up?"

The cobalt hedgehog glanced up for a second.

"Yep!"

"For a practical joke?"

"Yep!" There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Knuckles shook his red dreadlocks.

"My dreadlocks are very disappointed in you."

"You're not going to try and help, are you?"

Knuckles looked shocked.

"And let all of this grape juice go to waste? I think not!"

Sonic and Tails resumed their game.

* * *

Metal Sonic roared and shook its head in confusion.

"Yeah!" Amy cheered, celebrating by moving from side to side. "Go Team Rose!"

The other two members hurriedly put away their deckchairs and jumped up and down.

"Yaay!"

Amy cupped her hands to her mouth.

"It's your turn now, Team Chaotix!"

Vector gave the thumbs up.

"Right!"

"Shouldn't we all be attacking at once? It would defeat him a lot faster." Espio objected but Charmy grabbed him and threw him at Metal Sonic.

"Flying Ninja Attack!"

Espio screamed as he hurtled towards the hulking blue piece of metal.

"AAAAGGGHHH!"

Drawing out his sharp ninja stars, he carried on screaming.

"AAAAGGH!"

Colliding in a big fireball with Metal Sonic's head, Espio battered him as hard as he could before they both registered Charmy armed with an AK-47 and Vector...with a flannel.

"What the HELL is that going to do to him?" Espio cried angrily at Vector, who just shrugged.

"Found it next to the AK-47."

"Bang,bang,bang!" Charmy giggled as he shot round after round into Metal Sonic (yes players, be scared).

"OWOWOW! Why?" The giant robot whined as Vector flung the flannel at his face, blocking his vision receptors.

"CAN'T SEE!" The robot monster flailed his limbs around and tripped over a column sticking out of the metallic ground.

Espio landed relatively safely (although he did get a scrape on his knee) and called to Team Dark.

"Your turn!"

Rouge stood up from where Omega had been doing her hair and grinned.

"Finally! Let's kick ass!"

But Shadow was nowhere to be found. On further searching, they discovered Shadow crouching behind a randomly placed rock with his hands over his ears.

"What are you doing?" Rouge cried, highly embarrassed at her friend's actions.

"Waiting." Was Shadow's very serious response.

"For what?"

Her bewildered question was answered by dynamite exploding rapidly around Metal Sonic. All that happened was the irate robot storming out of the smoke cloud covered in black soot.

"Well, it was worth a shot." Shadow got up and shrugged. Taking a glowing Chaos Spear in his hand, he ran with a war cry towards the hunk of cold metal.

"This is going to end badly." Rouge quipped and Omega unveiled his full arsenal of weapons dramatically.

"You are going down." He quoted in Arnold Shwartznegger's voice. He looked at Rouge, said; "I'll be back." And powered to cause mayhem and unleash his wrath.

"Now I KNOW this will end badly."

Omega rattled round after round and Shadow's Chaos Spears flew heroically and Rouge kicked and slashed with her candy cane (where she got it from I don't know). It was epic.

But...not quite epic enough. As the smoke cleared yet again, the three brave, limber warriors beheld the most annoying sight possible. Everything within a three mile radius had been destroyed...except Metal Sonic himself. He was more confused than they were.

"For the love of all that is rabbits...we missed!" Rouge screamed and Shadow nearly pulled out his own quills in frustration and self-loathing.

"FEEL MY WRATH!" Omega continued with his Arnie voice, ignoring the current predicament that they were in and charging forward again.

"Oh well, at least you distracted him." Sonic's voice echoed behind them and the three groups spun round.

For there was Sonic in all of his...shiny BLUE glory? Tails and Knuckles hung back, looking suitably sheepish.

"You...haven't turned yet." Shadow said casually, his fists clenched and right eye twitching wildly.

"We're getting to it now!" Sonic said brightly, failing to notice the new potential death threat.

"Oh, that's good. Carry on. Don't mind us! Sitting here...playing away our lives...it's fine!" Shadow smiled too happily from ear to ear and Sonic did the same thing.

"Okay then!"

The Chaos Emeralds whirled into action, sensing that Sonic was about to become fried hedgehog jerky with mayo on top and Tails and Knuckles suddenly found themselves encased in shining, pretty shields of pure energy.

"Neat." Tails poked his with nonchalance.

"For some reason, I feel hungry." Knuckles commented.

Sonic beheld them in glowing gold and Amy rolled her eyes.

"Finally!"

Sonic drew himself up pompously and glared at Metal Sonic.

"We'll defeat you with the power of teamwork and tomato ketchup!"

Metal Sonic nearly spontaneously combusted with the corniness of that line right then but held himself together for the sake of the player.

"Hah, you really think so? I have Windows Vista on my side!" He cackled crazily.

Omega bleeped in horror.

"It will be difficult! That stuff is NASTY!"

Sonic, Tails and Knuckles nodded enthusiastically.

"We'll be fine!"

The three heroes soared majestically through the sky towards the crazed robot.

"Hahahaha!" he laughed.

And kept laughing.

In fact, it grew annoying after a while.

"Okay, this is like dealing with a demented clown!" Tails said in exasperation and Metal Sonic whipped around with clown face-paint on.

"Like this?"

"Uuh..."

Knuckles punched Metal Sonic in the face.

"Stab him in the eye!" Amy shouted helpfully.

"Take off his hat!" Cream yelled, also being helpful.

"Fly into him so he'll explode!" Shadow shrieked, not being very helpful as he was trying to make Sonic commit suicide.

"Well, you could press a button and shove ice cream down his throat!" Charmy shrugged.

"Fly round and round collecting rings for no reason! Then you'll get 'em good." Vector cried and Sonic rounded on them.

"SHUT UP ALREADY! I don't see YOU doing anything!"

Shadow's eye twitched again.

Sonic flipped and kicked and ran fast in mid-air but he didn't actually get anywhere. Worse, he was starting to lose his rings.

"Remind me why I'm dependent on rings to keep my Super Form again?" he grumbled and Knuckles took the liberty to answer that rhetoric question.

"Well, we tried to get you off them but you went crazy and broke out of the therapist's office, remember? And the writers wanted something to make you different from a Super Sayian."

"A Super what now?"

Metal Sonic grabbed Tails by his flying appendages and started twirling him around like a circus act.

"AAAAH! HELP!" Tails cried as he nearly spewed everwhere. "Quick Sonic, get the Anti-rectangle Mobian Spray!"

Isn't shamelessly ripping off old programmes fun?

Sonic rooted through his quills. He threw out a rubber duck, a cup, a lightsaber, an icecream cone, a traffic cone, a triangle, a mountain, the Titanic, NASA, SEGA and the President of the United States before finally finding what he had been looking for.

"Here you go, buddy!"

Tails caught the spray can. "Take this!"

Metal Sonic screamed. "NOOOOO! MY ONE WEAKNESS…being turned into an anti-rectangle!"

…Whatever shape THAT is.

He fell to the ground in a glorious double rainbow, filled with explosions and fireworks and blood and many other beautiful things. The spectators were awed and Omega used this firey goodness to set up his hotdog business. It boomed, peaked and crashed all in the space of a minute.

Landing back on the deck, Sonic and his two buds changed back into their regular forms.

"HOORAY! They've saved the day again!" cried millions of people across the world (who hadn't actually bothered to call the proper authorities to stop this mad man or anything sensible like that) and Sonic struck an incredibly corny pose which promptly killed thousands of kittens.

The other teams were stunned and almost beside themselves with rage.

Shadow spluttered incoherently, his muzzle purple. Sonic ran up to Metal Sonic and began taunting him with various hand gestures, rude words and blowing raspberries. All of which are too rude to describe on a T rated story.

"And after that final remark of how you have no mother, I am off to explore and seek new dangerous situations in which I may be killed!" Sonic yelled and his ever cheerful buddies leapt into the air.

"We'll assist you!"

Amy ran after these brave warriors shrieking her love for the blue hero and everyone dispersed out of general boredom to go in search of a rave or try and claim the stolen reward money from Eggman (despite the fact that it didn't exist in the first place).

The only people that were left were Omega and Shadow.

Omega picked up Metal Sonic, who was out of commission.

"What shall we do with this inferior robot who has been temporarily forgotten about?"

Shadow smiled deviously at him.

"We must sell him for millions on eBay to fund my quest for my lost past! This will involve long journeys and high usage of the word 'Damn!'."

"What an ingenious idea! Fans will love it!" Omega replied excitedly and the two looked dramatically at the rising sun on the horizon – they had unknowingly crossed over to China during the final ballet… I mean battle.

And that…is the disappointing climax to the end of my story.

BUT!

Wait until you see my sequel with lots of drama, romance, an evil brother called Eclipse who was the one to actually cause the ARK disaster and – wait, that's not my story!

The characters watched as the authoress was chased into the sunset by Mystery002 wielding a grenade launcher.

"You can't get good authors these days." said Tails sadly.

* * *

And that is actually the end. I felt Mystery002 had to make a cameo as he is an amazing author. Please review and the next Parody of the Games: Shadow the Hedgehog – Straight to the Bargain Bin! will be out soon.


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